The Mormon Therapist
Would some of your responses apply to a couple where one spouse has become a liberal mormon (strongly not believing core teachings yet enjoying other aspects of mormonism) and the other still believes the doctrine. Could I communicate with you by email, or only on the blog? Thanks for you time.
Each individul situation obviously differs and I would want to know more about what you are referring to before I give you a conclusive answer. For the most part, I believe that my answers apply to all couples. The issue of couples having differing testimonies or ideas about the gospel is a very real one in our LDS community.
It can be very painful when you realize that your spouse is taking a different road down the gospel path. This can affect your sense of having shared dreams, goals, and of course the very important issue of how to raise children. However, it usually is not a reason to leave a marriage. Whether or not you agree on all gospel doctrine, you can usually find common ground on many issues. And my personal belief is that our marital relationship trumps our relationship with the Church. Not with God but with the Church. Many couples can usually find a way to build a life where differing opinions can be lovingly respected.
There are no guarantees in marriage and we all end up dealing with one issue or another. Even if we marry the return missionary, went on our own missions, married in the temple: there are no guarantees! We cannot force our spouses to do anything and we are dealing with this complex issue of free agency as we join our lives with a unique individual. In my view, marriage is the number one tool that Heavenly Father uses to help us grow and reach in ways many of us never thought possible. This is where the concepts of mercy and compassion can be overwhelmingly useful.
If you would like to communicate about this on a more personal level, I would be happy to do so either over the telephone or through email (whichever you are more comfortable with). Follow the same directions for a telephone consultation and when you email me just note that you would rather communicate over email instead of phone.
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