If You Withdraw Sex Will It Make A Spouse Unfaithful?

Not that his choice was your fault…but i wonder if you withdrew sex from him, which made him go in that direction.

I would caution against the notion of holding a person accountable for their spouse’s behavior. Yes, couples are behaviorally intertwined (meaning that one’s behaviors/attitudes affect the other) and this couple may have been struggling in the area of their sexuality (which on a side note could be easily correlated to the many physical and emotional challenges of having small children). And yes, both husband and wife share responsibility in creating and maintaining a sexual relationship. However, the struggles mentioned by no means offer the husband a pass to infidelity. Using language such as “made him” automatically places blame on the wife and exonerates the husband from the responsibility of his choices. This is just not appropriate nor helpful. Unfortunately we tend to have an underlying vibe in our culture that says if the wife isn’t sexually satisfying her husband, then it leaves the husband no choice but to go outside the marriage for sexual fulfillment. This way of thinking really does an injustice to both spouses.

It misplaces blame on the wife, causing undue stress, anxiety, guilt and shame (none of which help solve sexual problems).
It places the husband in a stereotyped role where his physical desires are seen as uncontrollable and larger than his moral capacity. It also limits his ability to problem solve in a more creative fashion than resorting to affairs (such as increasing communication and listening skills).
It undermines the power of non-sexual intimacy. In other words, a couple with healthy emotional intimacy levels should be able to communicate about their sexual life in a way that validates the physical needs and goals of both. True intimacy not only takes into account the physical needs of both spouses, but the emotional needs as well.

Hopefully both can become more self aware regarding their roles within the marriage and be willing to reach out to the other in a way that will increase intimacy instead of deflate it.

If you withdraw sex will it make a spouse unfaithful?