In response to the statement “I do want to reiterate that I do agree with church guidance that masturbation is a practice we need to try to control and keep at bay”.
This is misleading and incorrect. The Chruch’s position reflected in many statements is to abstain from masturbation, not simply control it or keep it at bay.
People in the church are gravitating to the most liberal interpetation of doctrine they can conjure up. The sexual relationship statements by the Brethren have not indicated that masturbation practiced once married is okay either. All the references I have read suggest that sex is good and approved of between a man and woman in marriage (not between a man and his hand or woman and her vibrator). The implication is that the two should come together in marriage and in sexual relationship – not depart their separate ways to pleasure themselves even if they have informed each other they would be doing so. I think for anyone to suggest this to be okay even under certain circumstances, is way way beyond what the Brethren have said and is a complete misrepresentation of anything they have eluded to.
My hope is that I am able to communicate clearly enough that we do not have to get into the minute details of how I have chosen to word every single sentence in my posts. I apologize that this may not always be the case. I realize all things can be interpreted in different ways, and many times not with the intent the writer had in mind.
Regarding doctrinal interpretation – there are always going to be members on both sides of the spectrum (conservative to liberal). And I’m not sure it is fair to make assumptions about people we don’t know or have not had a chance to speak with personally. As far as the comments I made regarding masturbation in the above mentioned post, I stand by them. I have always encouraged this practice as one that couples can use together, not apart. And yes of course, one of the main purposes of sexuality is to bring a couple closer in a physically, emotional, and spiritual way. Hands are most definitely needed as part of sex/sexual play and if a couple wants to add sexual tools such as vibrators to their love-making then that is up to them. We should not assume that sexual toys or tools are only used in inappropriate ways. They can be extremely useful to many couples. Church leaders have given general and basic sexual guidance to couples. I doubt they will get any more specific anytime soon. They leave this role more up to doctors, therapists, sex educators, and couples themselves.
Also, I want to clarify that I have never made reference to the fact that I am speaking “for” or “in behalf of” the main leaders of our church. In fact, I have gone out of my way on several occasions to make sure people visiting this blog understand that this is not my purpose. At the same time I do not ever intend to go against church teachings or doctrine. If you believe I have, then you are entitled to your opinions and interpretations just as we all are.
Thank you for your comments and please feel free to contact me with any other concerns.
The Mormon Therapist
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