How do I tell my kids not to discuss these things outside our home?

I think you did a great job, I like being in charge of what my children understand. It is later when they try to describe it to others that I feel embarrassed. Should I tell them that these are questions that they can always ask me, but we shouldn’t talk about it with everyone? What is the best way to help them not discuss these matters outside of our home?

Thanks! I do not feel like I need to apologize for anything spoken out of the mouth of a child less than 6 years of age. Kids say the craziest things and there’s not much we can do about that. Hopefully we can just smile, laugh and enjoy the awkward moment as much as possible. Plus, I do not want to add anxiety to my kids about having to watch what they say just yet (other than basic things like calling people “stupid,” “fat,” etc.).

I do not EVER feel like I need to apologize or keep my children from using proper terminology. If anyone is uncomfortable with my children stating proper anatomical parts then that is a problem beyond me.

Now when it comes to my kids understanding things specifically related to sexual intercourse (which has usually started about age 7 to 8 and driven by their own questions/curiosity – i.e. the sperm swims to the egg when the penis goes inside the vagina – this is called sex or making love – yes, you are naked when this happens – yes, Daddy and Mommy do this – this is a way we show each other we love each other, like kissing, and this is the way we make babies – no, it does not hurt or at least, shouldn’t hurt – this is something you choose to do with the person you marry – yes, there are people who have babies who are not married -etc.) then I do follow these types of discussions with a statement like the following:
“Sex is something very special and sacred. It is from God and has to do with sharing something wonderful with the person you choose to love and marry. Because it is so special it is also private. And because it is private, many parents don’t always talk to their kids about it at the same age that you are. There may be kids at school that don’t yet know what sex is. I’m asking you to not talk about these things at school because I think your friend’s parents would like to be the first ones to tell their own children – just like I’m telling you. I trust that you can be responsible about this information. Another thing you need to know about sex is that sometimes you will hear things about it that aren’t true. You can always ask me questions or tell me what you’ve heard and I will tell you whether or not it’s right. Also, because it is special and private, sometimes people get giggly or nervous talking about it. You might hear jokes that are inappropriate or immature. Again, these are things we can always talk about. “

Whether we like it or not, kids will talk about sex. In fact, most kids already have an inkling about sexual topics early in elementary school. This is precisely why I believe it to be important to talk early about it ourselves. To say “I’ll tell you about that when you’re older” is just not good enough. If they are coming to you with enough knowledge to ask the question, then you have a great opportunity to give them the answer – or at the very least do some questioning to see what it is they already know. Otherwise, they will get their answers elsewhere.