Are sexual toys inappropriate?

Are sexual toys inappropriate?
Natasha, I thought this was a great article. Lots of great ideas. We have started using a few toys but wonder if there are certain types that might be outside of being appropriate. Do you have any opinions about this?

Thanks!

I don’t necessarily see it as my role to tell couples what is or is not appropriate when it comes to their sexual preferences, creativity and recreation.  I see this more as a healthy exercise between you and your spouse to explore.  What might be bond-producing in your relationship may not translate into healthy sexuality for another couple.  There is nothing that currently comes to mind that I would deem inherently inappropriate as far as “sex toys” go.  At the same time, I am not going to go as far as to imply that I am aware of all that is available.

Some good questions to ask yourselves when incorporating any type of sexual nuance into your marriage:

  • Does this help us feel more connected?
  • Does this help us have fun and feel creative in our approach?
  • Are we both comfortable (is anyone feeling coerced)?
  • Does this help one of us achieve orgasm more easily?
  • Are we avoiding causing physical harm to either partner in our sexual play (i.e. bruising, affixiation, etc.)?

And remember, just because you try a new tool – doesn’t mean you have to keep it.  Some of this is just a trial and error process.  Explore.  Be creative.  Have a good sense of humor.  Communicate.  When something works, add it to your repertoire.
If you have a more specific question as to particularly what you are referencing, let me know. 


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