To Circumcise Or Not To Circumcise?

My husband and I just recently had our second child, a son. We were planning on circumcising him as my husband is circumcised but as we got closer to actually going through with it my husband and I felt uneasy about it, did some research and decided that we are not going to circumcise our son. Well, my mother-in-law sent us an email expressing her concern about our decision based on the fact that our son will have to clean himself every day under his foreskin and that will make not giving into masturbation even harder. She talked about how in all of her meetings at church masturbation and pornography are constantly talked about as being the hardest and most prevalent issue among the teenage boys particularly. I feel like there are so many other variables for whether a child will become too involved in masturbation and that being circumcised is not really a huge factor, but now she kind of has me worried I guess. So I’m coming to you for advice if you have any, is there any correlation strong enough between staying intact and compulsive masturbation? As an LDS therapist do you have any other thoughts on this matter?

There is no evidence to show a correlation between circumcision and rate of masturbation that I am aware of. There are no significant medical reasons to support circumcision and the American Academy of Pediatrics no longer recommends circumcision as a routine neonatal procedure. There are also no hygiene concerns for boys who are uncircumcised. Soap and water should be used to wash genitalia on a regular basis whether you are male or female, circumcised or uncircumcised. The main reasons parents choose to circumcise their infant sons are due to religious and cultural traditions. There is also a sense by many fathers who are circumcised of wanting their boys to look like them. Some statistics I’ve come across report about 1/3 of the world’s male population is circumcised. It is becoming a less popular procedure in the United States, and rates vary widely in different ethnic groups. Basically, it comes down to preference.

From a religious perspective – circumcision was part of the many physical rituals under the Law of Moses. In Mormon doctrine we understand that Christ’s atoning sacrifice trumped the Law of Moses – making those types of rituals no longer necessary as part of our spiritual devotion. The church has no official policy on circumcision that I am aware of.

Personally, I do not support male or female circumcision. I see it as an unnecessary, painful procedure originating from rigid religious sexual beliefs and supported by many medical myths throughout time. Those myths have slowly been debunked. My Mormon beliefs surrounding the body being a gift from Heavenly Parents leaves me completely comfortable trusting their engineering and leaving our bodies intact. In sharing my opinion, I do not want to guilt any parents who have chosen circumcision for their sons – I understand cultural pressure and family or religious tradition is the reason why we do a lot of things we believe to be in the best interest of our children. This should not be anything anyone beats themselves up over. In a small percentage of cases it may even have been deemed a medical necessity. However, moving forward I hope more parents will choose not to circumcise.

Masturbation is prevalent amongst children and teens regardless of circumcision status, race, gender, socioeconomic status, religion, etc. It is normal for male infants, toddlers and children to touch their genitalia mainly due to easy access. Girls also touch their labia and clitoris regularly even though their anatomy is not as visually available. Even fetuses are self stimulating. It is important to understand that this behavior is normal and that your child is not weird, perverse, addicted, promiscuous, etc. Children find it soothing and pleasurable to touch themselves. All children and adolescents should feel completely comfortable coming into contact with their genitalia for the purpose of hygiene. Proper hygiene should be taught and encouraged. “A Parent’s Guide” available on lds.org has some helpful directives as to approaching sexual education for children.

If you choose to teach anti-masturbation policies due to your religious beliefs, I recommend this be done during adolescence when the child is better prepared to take accountability for their sexual selves – not during childhood. It is important to separate masturbation from pornography use when discussing the seriousness of effects and consequences to one’s sexual development. Any sexual education should be presented in a calm, normative and non-shaming manner supported by not only religious reasons but scientifically based reasons as well. It is important for teens to understand that masturbation is a common behavior, even amongst their LDS peers, and not a serious sexual sin. It is important to note that the word “masturbation” is no longer mentioned in most current church manuals. It is also important to know that masturbation has been seen as normative sexual development by the scientific and specifically the pediatric community for decades now. I am not a fan of the intense guilt I see LDS adolescents coming to me with regarding masturbation. I see masturbation more as a problem when part of secretive behavior being withheld from a spouse. I am concerned that depending on where you live and who your priesthood leaders are, you are likely to get quite different counsel regarding the seriousness of masturbation, whether or not it’s asked about in a priesthood interview, and whether or not it is behavior that should be stopped for a certain length of time before a mission for example. I hear of some of our teens being referred to our 12 step addiction program for masturbation and this is highly concerning to me. Unless the problem has truly become compulsive and/or addictive – happening numerous times a day and interfering with daily aspects of a person’s lifestyle – treating masturbation as an addiction can be extremely harmful to our teen’s psyches. I want to emphasize that when I encounter sexual behavior that truly has become compulsive and/or addictive in some of the adults and adolescents I treat – the bigger problem needing to be addressed is the underlying fear/secrecy/shame cycle that feeds the compulsion and loss of control. Kids need direction, education, normalization and loving acceptance as they begin to understand the nature of the God-given gift of sexuality.

As you enter the realm of parenthood, it will be common to get lots of different advice – especially from those who are lovingly invested in your family’s success (such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, etc.). There will also be professional advice from doctors, teachers, self-help books and people like me. Advice is good to listen to and consider. However, at the end of the day, you and your husband are in the best position to come to decisions you both feel comfortable and at peace with. This is your jurisdiction. It is your right to receive revelation directly related to the needs of your children and the parenting decisions you will make. It will be important for the two of you to trust this process – especially when you are both on the same page. I wish you the best in this great venture of parenthood.

AAP Circumcision Policy Statement
Male Circumcision
Rate of Circumcision in Adults and Newborns

To circumcise or not to circumcise?