Teen Masturbation

To be perfectly honest, I’m not a big proponent of making a big deal about teenage masturbation.  I think it is good that he can talk to the bishop about any pornography use.  And I believe you can offer meaningful education about why pornography can skew your son’s sexual development.  Normalizing teen masturbation is important in my opinion because almost all boys participate in this practice at one point or another.  So do most girls for that matter.  The larger concern is that masturbatory shame would turn into anxiety that then has the potential to drive more compulsive behavior.  I encourage parents to let their teens know that these urges are normal, that most other teens also masturbate, and to warn against compulsive behavior.  In other words – if you’re masturbating several times a day or feeling like masturbation keeps you from other types of behavior (i.e. going out, dating, school, etc.) then there is a problem that should be addressed.  I have seen too many middle-aged men who are struggling with compulsive pornography use and/or masturbation where I can go back in their history and find sexual shame starting in early adolescence around the practice of masturbation.  For this reason, and for many other medically sound reasons, I do not agree with taking a strict stance on teenage masturbation.  I understand if you do not agree with my perspective.  At the same time, it is the soundest advice I know to give.  I don’t know if you are a single parent or married – if married, I encourage both parents to be involved in the sexual education of their children.  Good luck!