A Call for Accepting all Families

Families have been widely varied throughout all of history – from how many children, to how those children came to be part of the family, to who is raising the children, etc…

When we continue to tout and emphasize the importance of one type of family over others we do harm.  It doesn’t matter how much we preach that we need to “reach out to all people with understanding, love and compassion.”  The bottom line is that the position we are holding is just not understanding, loving or compassionate. 

Elder Ballard Addresses Importance of Traditional Marriage at World Congress of Families

I came across the following comment that explains well the feelings of inadequacy many within our Mormon family feel when we continue to hear messages that divide us into ‘ideal’ vs ‘other.’  It rings familiar with many I have spoken with over the years and it is heartbreaking.

My family doesn’t fit the definition of “traditional family” as described by the church. But my family is just as valid and valuable as a so-called traditional family. However, the constant drumbeat of leadership and many believers tells me that my family is nothing but counterfeit. According to the church and its teachings, I will never be enough. My family will never be enough. I see some of my friends sharing this message, and it hurts. Why can’t the church be supportive of my family? Why can’t the church recognize my years of faithful service, tithe paying, magnifying various callings? Why can’t the church recognize that I raised my child by myself successfully in the church in spite of the constant messages that tell me that we are not enough and never will be unless I have a husband and more children? There is no reason for the continual attack on my family by my own church. There is not room for me in this church.

So all of you who tout the traditional family as being superior to other family configurations, think about who you are hurting. Think about who you are driving away from the gospel that you claim to love.”

We have hard enough tasks to do in the work of family – without any need to turn on one another as we all strive towards the common goals of relational, emotional, financial, physical and spiritual health.  Instead of focusing our monies and energies on attacking what type of families we come from or choose to form – why don’t we find common purpose in fighting the true enemies of family living: poverty, lack of education, inadequate healthcare, lack of appropriate resources, lack of social justice, etc. We don’t thrive when we focus on our differences – we thrive when we engage in common aspirations and goals that can benefit the entire human race. Let’s please move towards truly accepting stances that reflect the teachings of our Lord, Jesus Christ.