How would you recommend dealing with the jealousy that a spouse feels due to the knowledge that the other spouse was sexually active before marriage? This can be such a sad situation for both people in the marriage to deal with. On the one hand, the spouse who acted sexually prior to the marriage has been honest about their sexual history and therefore, opened the door to the possibility of a deeper intimacy level within the relationship. On the other... Read more

You’re ability to be understanding of someone from a homosexual perspective while still holding true to prophetic counsel proscribing homosexual conduct is refreshing. So often in the Church it seems people take one of two extremes: either “homosexuals are bad people and should be shunned” or the opposite pseudo-intellectual stance of “I’m so much more progressive and enlightened than other Church members that it’s my duty to show our leaders the error of their ways.” It’s uplifting to hear intelligent... Read more

I wonder if you have ever been a teenager yourself? Do you really think that the only possible reason that a teen might not want a parent to communicate via a “hidden language” is to hide Porn use? I have nothing to say that wouldn’t be insulting. You’re a real therapist? Really? I’m not sure what the anger or frustration behind this comment is about. You are referring to the post regarding POSSIBLE signs that a teenager is looking at... Read more

Great post. I believe that regardless of what your specific beliefs on masturbation may be, just the very act of openly discussing those beliefs with your spouse can really help improve your marital intimacy. You may also find that you share similar beliefs that both were previously afraid to disclose. Thank you! It sounds like you may have a personal experience that relates to this. If so, I’m always looking for people to share their experiences that have challenged and... Read more

“1-It has addictive qualities. 2-The thoughts and fantasies that go along with masturbation can be inappropriate. 3-When married individuals masturbate independently of their spouses, it takes away from the possibilities within the marital sexual relationship.” Cited from What about Masturbation? With these thoughts in mind, what would you say about occasional (1-3 times a month) masturbation by a married person, without use of pornography or fantasizing about people other than one’s spouse, in situations where either sex together is not... Read more

When one spouse does not follow the Word of Wisdom but is not being irresponsible (e.g. drinks alcohol responsibly, drinks coffee or tea), what can parents in such a family say to help children understand and not judge the parent due to teachings they receive at church? Would your advice differ if the spouse is a non-member vs. one who has left the church or chooses not to comply with this aspect of his/her religion? Is it best for parents... Read more

You have a very thoughtful and informative blog. I thought your comment about a “negative fascination” with masturbation was especially insightful (What about Masturbation?). Over-vilification of the practice seems to have a net negative effect: it incentives further concealment of the act, engenders negative feelings of sexuality in general, and ruins self-esteems. A less dogmatic and condemnatory approach for dealing with the topic would go a long way toward encouraging restraint without the obsessive guilt and shame that usually accompany... Read more

There are studies that report kissing being healthy for our health – increasing blood flow, releasing healthy hormones, upping self-esteem, releasing stress, and even helping with dental hygiene. Whether married or single, parent or child – kissing is a great way to bond with others, show affection and feel loved. If married, it is part of the important process of foreplay and at the same time can be a way to show love and affection that doesn’t necessarily have to... Read more

Here are some “red flags” that could be indicative that your youth is looking at pornography or participating in inappropriate internet behavior. (Taken from Sex, Lies and the Media: What Your Kids Know and Aren’t Telling You by Eva Marie Everson & Jessica Everson) If your child spends a lot of time in chat rooms. Summer months and school vacations are times of higher risk. If you find porn on your computer. Don’t forget to check CDs and diskettes. If... Read more