Why a Near-Death Experience Made Me Appreciate My Parents

I recently had a close brush with death and the one thing I kept worrying about was how my parents would take the loss. I didn’t care if I was going to be in Jannah (paradise) or not (though I hoped I would be) or about how many things I hadn’t yet done or achieved. I cared primarily that I wasn’t going to be there for my parents when they grow old.

Death is not really talked about in today’s society. We are very hush-hush about it. We don’t want to be seen as sad or morbid. We want to look like we have the strength to bear the loss, and we sometimes do this so that people wouldn’t have the responsibility of having to console us.

However, coming face-to-face with death is a powerfully surreal experience. It makes you have a scary awakening. You start thinking about how fragile and short life is and quickly realize the things that are important. For example, your relationship with your parents, how much they cared about you, and all the things they did for that you could never repay.

Most teenagers take their parents for granted. They assume that their parents will always be around and will always be there for them. At least, I did. While it is true that parents have a responsibility to take care of the children, some parents choose not to. Some of them abandon their kid(s) while some others mistreat/abuse their children.

Coming face-to-face with death is a powerfully surreal experience. It makes you have a scary awakening.

It is indeed quite lucky to have parents that are not separated and also treat their kids as human beings. The issue most kids have with their parents is that they think their parents are trying to control them while the parents think they are making decisions that are best for the child. This leads to a situation where the parent and child grow apart and stop connecting. Most times, the child only appreciates his/her parents when he/she has kids and is saddled with shaping another human life. They then realize that while their parents weren’t perfect, they actually did the best they could.

It’s crazy to think of the immense responsibility that lies on the shoulders of parents. They usually have to put their lives on hold to make space and time for their kids. They also end up making sacrifices of all kinds just to ensure that their kids turn out to be decent human beings. The amount of work they put into each child is staggering to contemplate, yet they hardly ever get thanks for their efforts.

It’s crazy to think of the immense responsibility that lies on the shoulders of parents… The amount of work they put into each child is staggering to contemplate, yet they hardly ever get thanks for their efforts.

I love my parents, no doubt, but it’s time to start doing right by them. This verse from the Quran always ends up bringing tears to my eyes:

Your Lord has commanded that you should worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say no word that shows impatience with them, and do not be harsh with them, but speak to them respectfully and lower your wing in humility towards them in kindness and say, ‘Lord, have mercy on them, just as they cared for me when I was little. [17:23-24]

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