Ali Family Autism Truths #6 – Finding Our Okay

April 6, 2015 – Autism Awareness Month, Ali Family Autism Truths #6

Our milestones and firsts have never been other family’s milestones or firsts. When it comes to D, we follow his timeline on progress and no other. We face our firsts, sometimes with sadness and fear, sometimes with great joy — always truthfully.

I wrote this today on Facebook:

More milestones in Autism land for the Ali Family. Every time things feel complacent and just our “norm,” I’m reminded of all the cheerful (and difficult) adjustments we (and all ‪#‎autism‬ families) have done to find our new okay, our own type of “normal.”

This spring break is another bunch of firsts for us. Our Autism truths never come easy — it takes a lot of work. But by God we’re going to be work at being positive and happy about it. We’re going to remember how good wehave it. We’re going to release the negatives instead of holding them in our hearts.

That’s what is on repeat in my head — if I say it enough, I’ll believe it.

When I meet families new to autism, with children newly diagnosed, I’m often asked, when will things be okay? I don’t now how to answer that. I know what I hoped to have happen when D received his official diagnoses right as he turned three. I remember years of turmoil, of making mistakes, of trying this after that, of trying to hear D, understand D, help D and make it all somehow better.

Things didn’t become okay, at least with the profoundness of D’s autism. But we all became okay as a family. Through the darkest of years, through crises that devastated him and us, through it all, we clawed our way back to okay. Because by God we’re going to work at being positive and happy, no matter what choices we have to make, no matter what utter unfairness and difficulties we see thrust upon him. Because I’m always amazed that when we are brought to our knees by everything D endures, he keeps moving forward.

Because he knows his truth.