Reader Response: Is Becoming Muslim the Right Choice?

Monday, I came across this question posted on the About page.  Instead of responding there, I thought to share it here in case any of you have more input.

Hi, I have a question. Well you see I’ve been dating this Muslim guy from Pakistan, but I’m not Muslim. I have been learning more about the culture and all. I’m afraid I of what my family will say if they know I may become Muslim.

I love him with all my heart and I would love to be called his wife. I’ve already met his family and some of his friends. They are amazing people. I’m still unsure if me becoming Muslim is the right choice.

Any advice that could be given would be greatly appreciated.

First, I’m glad you have reached out and started looking for a support network.

Now let’s move on to the details of your question. You don’t say where you or your boyfriend are living, so I usually default to assuming United States. You also don’t mention if your boyfriend is a citizen. Yes, this is an important detail.

It is wonderful that you have found a relationship with a man whose family is willing to meet you and possibly accept you. It is also wonderful that you have met some of his friends and seem to be integrating into his life. By this, I mean he isn’t hiding you. Since I don’t know how long you have been together, it is more difficult to address his family situation. Often times, families will be accepting of non-Muslim girlfriends but when the relationship turns serious, they will not approve. This is something to consider.

The most important part of your question is that you are learning about the culture and you are unsure about becoming Muslim. These are two separate issues but are often lumped together and are difficult to tease apart. You can learn about the culture of Pakistan and Pakistani natives, appreciate the clothing, food, customs and even learn to speak Urdu all without converting to Islam.

It is important to know this.   You can love your Pakistani Muslim man and his family without having to convert. Conversion is not mandatory or compulsory. You should not ever feel pressured or coerced into converting.

If you are learning about Islam, the true Islam away from Pakistani Culture and are called to convert, then by all means go ahead. But think about this. Would you still feel the call as strongly if you were not in love with your Muslim Man?