Tears for my Nineteen Brother Firefighters

My heartbreaks, tears flow and these words are my attempt to find solace.  Nineteen members of a Hotshot Firefighting crew are dead in Arizona.  For the last few years I was on a Southwest Area Incident Management Team. These are men I know, have eaten meals with, showered with, shared conversation with. My job at fires as a Logistics Section chief is, at its heart, keeping the firefighters safe: feeding them, providing for their needs, rest, equipment, medical attention, communication, transportation, sleeping arrangements etc.

This is intensely personal for me. Tears hover in my eyes, the loss is profound.  Each of us in the firefighting community understands the risks, yet when a tragedy of this magnitude occurs we are devastated. We are a family, each of us with a special knowledge of what being a wild land firefighter really means. Today we grieve, wonder what went wrong and think about their families’.

These are men whose lives I have protected, who take the risks that most would shy away from to keep people, homes and communities safe. They are also faces I know, each with a story, a community, and a dream for the future.  Their loss reminds all of us of the fragility of life.

Men I know have died in a courageous effort, the tears flow now. Thoughts of lives cut short; of how young these men were envelope me.

My thoughts also turn to the Command Team just assigned to manage the fire response. Assigned just after the tragedy, they are the elite of Fire Management, now assigned to direct a grieving force of firefighters in containing the fire. Until this year I was a Chief Officer in this very team, I know them well and do not envy them their task. While geography has kept me from being on their team this year, my heart is with them in their terribly difficult task.

And I sit, grieve, remember, wish I were there and hope that my current team will never have to respond in such a way.

I will be burning 19 candles for 19 days in honor of their sacrifice

Rest in Peace Brothers, your loss is more than words can express.