self-determination vs. Predetermination

I think we are given the power to determine our own destiny, that every choice we make is a step down the path we cut for ourselves. My evidence is simple: we are given the ability to make decisions for ourselves.

Undoubtedly there are lessons our souls must learn during this life, so we can move on to the next stage in our incarnation. So maybe there is some vague, pre-determined fate for all souls, namely their return to the fabric of the universe, which is woven of many threads tangled throughout space and time in orderly chaos.
Many of us say things like: “If it is meant to be, then it will be.”
Let me ask you this. If I stop taking my medication, and become so depressed that I commit suicide, is that meant to be? Or did I have a choice whether or not to take my medication, and determine whether or not I slide into depression.
I assure you that this is not the case. In fact my meds are working quite well, just causing me to be a little too tired during the day. I know some of my recent posts have been dark, but I just used my mental health as an example of self-determined fate. If you leave a candle near your fabric curtains and it does not start a fire, perhaps then you might say that it was not meant to be. I can understand that logic. Maybe it was luck, and maybe someone of the divine interfered on your behalf because you needed a lesson of some sort. Maybe there is room for both self-determination and destiny? Maybe you determine your own.
I think we have a vague map within our souls, the points on which we must reach during our stay in this dimension. These points can shift depending on the direction our choices take us.
Whether we choose to do the right thing or not does not seem to be pre-determined. After all, we have the ability to understand the choices we have when it comes time to make a decision. Do I drive through this storm because my friend is stranded? Do I plead innocent when I have truly committed a crime?
Perhaps some of the steps in life that we must take are pre-determined in concept or in lesson, but not in detail. If a soul needs to learn respect for animals, perhaps they find themselves taking care of a dog dying of cancer. Or perhaps they find themselves in a situation with too many pets, and make the choice to relinquish some of their pets because it is the right thing to do.
I read a quote once, that essentially stated that we are walking backwards through time. We have the past to teach us, we can only glimpse the future. So we have karmic debts to settle, lessons to learn, and those things may be set in our path so that we either choose to deal with them or run away. If we run, that is baggage we will not avoid shedding. But many of our choices, like whether I have a bagel or waffles for breakfast, seem to have little to no meaning. We can choose the kinds of music we like, the art we place on our walls, and how we choose to worship our gods.
I think fate is like a grocery store. You start out with your list. There are options for each item you reach. Some of your choices impact the life you live at home, some don’t. The shelves are pre-determined, and what is presented to you in the form of options is as well. But it is up to you to make the choice that is best, or not to. And it is up to you to have the resources to pay for what you have received in the end.
So when people sit there and tell me that what should be shall be, I feel some frustration. Usually these comments are combined with words meant to encourage me to let whatever I am focused on rest, let it resolve itself. So maybe I find a girlfriend, or I don’t. But if I do nothing and let the universe run its course, it is less likely that I will find her. But if I make honest, ethical effort to find someone to love, I may be rewarded. When we make a choice, we put our energy behind something, and when we do that, we swing the odds in our favor. This is why everything cannot be pre-determined, though some things are. Our actions do weave and reweave the threads of the universe. We write and re-write the archives of past and future respectively with each choice we make, each step we take.

Otherwise, what would be the point in bothering with magic?