Raising Disciples: Discerning The Appropriate Age To Disciple Your Child

Mother on brown leather couch reading with a toddler and older child, while a middle child reads at a coffee table in front. — What age is the right age for kid’s discipleship? | Image by Ivorymix.com.

As a family pastor and parent coach, I know many parents wonder, “When do you get serious about teaching your children about faith?” This is one of my favorite topics and I am excited to explore that with you today. The short answer is today, no matter your children’s ages, but there is much more for us to reflect on.

Here are the three things we are going to consider:

Children’s Capabilities
God’s Capabilities
Parent’s Capabilities

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Are my kids ready for discipleship?

From the time they are born, our children are learning. The brain grows more in the first 5 years than it will over the rest of a child’s life. These first years are pivotal for physical, cognitive, social, and emotional development.

It would make sense that these years also hold enormous potential for spiritual growth. Scripture agrees!

At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and intelligent and revealed them to infants. Matthew 11:25 CSB
Through the praise of children and infants, you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. Psalm 8:2 NLT
From infancy, you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 2 Timothy 3:15 NIV

Nathan Wallis, a neuroscience educator says, “The brain is designed to interact with the environment during the first 1000 days of existence to see what sort of brain you will need for the rest of your life.” Imagine the impact of offering an environment that reflects God’s love, grace, compassion, sacrifice, safety, and kindness. Your child will grow up with that “sort of brain.”

While little ones may not be able to comprehend all of the facts and concepts, honestly, neither can I. God is way too big for any of us to completely wrap our minds around no matter our age or cognitive abilities. Thankfully, our relationship with God is built on relationship and not understanding.

Babies, toddlers, and children are all capable of meaningful relationships. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, “God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” (NLT)

God planted eternity in the human heart, it doesn’t appear there when they hit a certain age. Eternity has been placed in our children’s hearts.

It’s Never Too Late

If you are reading this and your kid is 8, 14, or even 18+, I don’t want to discourage you. It is never too late to share Christ’s love with your child. It will look different, but ultimately, you can’t change the past.

God Wants to Be in Relationship With Your Children

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” Jeremiah 1:5 NIV

These were God’s specific words to Jeremiah. And while God may not have set us all apart as prophets like Jeremiah, God knew us all before forming us. He knew our children. God loves them deeply.

“Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast. From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God.” Psalm 22:9-10 NIV

David, a man after God’s heart, recognized that God has been his God since birth because of God’s doing.

Finally, one of my favorite parent equippers, Rachel Turner, writes this in her book Babies and Toddlers: Nurturing your child’s spiritual life, “If we as parents can understand our children’s small attempts at communication with us, imagine how much more God can understand our children when they talk with him.”

God created your children, and the whole world for that matter. He is beyond capable of pursuing a relationship with children who can’t walk, talk, control their emotions, or wrap their minds around all that he is.

Are You Ready to Disciple Your Kids?

If you love Jesus, then you have everything you need to nurture faith in your kids: the Holy Spirit.

According to Deuteronomy 6:4-9 all you need to do is love God and talk about him to your kids throughout the day. I share more about this here.

Your Responsibility

No matter what age you start, you are not responsible for your child’s faith decisions. It isn’t even your job to convince your children to accept Christ, that is the job of the Holy Spirit.

Your responsibility to model your faith and reflect God in your parenting to the best of your ability.