A Praise Band Parody: “Dear Lord, Please Stop Their ‘Singing'”

How Can We Stop Their “Singing“
Words: Jonathan Aigner
Tune: HOW CAN I KEEP FROM SINGING

The church was once a place of rest,
Of prayer, and chant, and preaching.
But then they sold the organ pipes
And hushed the choir’s singing.

The praise band whines, and beats their drums,
And all the while I’m thinking:
“Oh my dear God, what have we done?
How can we stop their ‘singing?'”

They hired a hipster with guitar,
Called him the “worship leader.”
He croons his vapid “worship” songs
With no clear rhyme or meter.

The praise band whines, and beats their drums,
And all the while I’m thinking:
“Oh my dear God, what have we done?
How can we stop their ‘singing?'”

His larynx rises with each note
Above the staff he’s belting.
I can’t help thinking to myself –
His skinny jeans are helping.

The praise band whines, and beats their drums,
And all the while I’m thinking:
“Oh my dear God, what have we done?
How can we stop their ‘singing?'”

Now church is just a rock concert,
No liturgy to lead us,
No ritual, nor reverence
No sacraments to feed us.

The praise band whines, and beats their drums,
And all the while I’m thinking:
“Oh my dear God, what have we done?
How can we stop their ‘singing?'”

The pastor says this is the way
To stop the youth from leaving –
But stop and take one look around,
It’s just the Boomers singing!

The praise band whines, and beats their drums,
And all the while I’m thinking:
“Oh my dear God, what have we done?
How can we stop their ‘singing?'”

The noise flows on in endless song,
Until the pastor’s preaching,
And then they start their song again,
Dear Lord, please stop their singing!

The praise band whines, and beats their drums,
And all the while I’m thinking:
“Oh my dear God, what have we done?
How can we stop their ‘singing?'”

Photo:
Some boomer priest, Flickr
Creative commons 2.0