A Praise Band Parody: “Dear Lord, Please Stop Their ‘Singing'”

A Praise Band Parody: “Dear Lord, Please Stop Their ‘Singing'” July 10, 2019

How Can We Stop Their “Singing
Words: Jonathan Aigner
Tune: HOW CAN I KEEP FROM SINGING

The church was once a place of rest,
Of prayer, and chant, and preaching.
But then they sold the organ pipes
And hushed the choir’s singing.

The praise band whines, and beats their drums,
And all the while I’m thinking:
“Oh my dear God, what have we done?
How can we stop their ‘singing?'”

They hired a hipster with guitar,
Called him the “worship leader.”
He croons his vapid “worship” songs
With no clear rhyme or meter.

His larynx rises with each note
Above the staff he’s belting.
I can’t help thinking to myself –
His skinny jeans are helping.

Now church is just a rock concert,
No liturgy to lead us,
No ritual, nor reverence
No sacraments to feed us.

The pastor says this is the way
To stop the youth from leaving –
But stop and take one look around,
It’s just the Boomers singing!

The noise flows on in endless song,
Until the pastor’s preaching,
And then they start their song again,
Dear Lord, please stop their singing!

Photo:
Some boomer priest, Flickr
Creative commons 2.0

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