[Oh look! My room is already done up in pastels!]
In my obedient quest to survive the Facebook Algorithm Apocalypse I’ve been trying to use and understand something called Flipboard. It’s hard, first of all, not just to call it flipbook, since the tyranny of Facebook is ever presently weighing on my mind. But it’s also hard to figure out how to use it, because I’m technological challenged, and my only “screen” is a decaying little iPad with tiny keys. Can any electronic device decay? I suppose technically not, but that’s what it feels like.
Oh man, so many feelings. Where was I? Oh yes, flipboard. So, you go in and pick a lot of categories of stuff you’re interested in, and then some sort of algorithm, I guess, accumulates articles for you read. Just like Instagram helps you go straight to the pictures (oh man, so much guilt there, haven’t instagrammed anything in like a week) flipboard apparently helps you go straight to the news and articles you’re interested in. Theoretically you could then ditch Facebook and just have flipboard and Instagram, and then maybe you wouldn’t feel any more cloying existential dread.
So anyway, after you pick your categories you start reading and then you can “flip” articles into something called “picks,” and when you get enough of them you can make your own “magazine” and share it around on social media, probably twitter, because Facebook doesn’t deserve your efforts and you should do what you can to stick it to Mark Zuckerberg.
One of the categories I picked was Happiness, because of course I did. So, in a couple of days, I’ve learned all the things that can make you happy, or rather, if the writers of these articles were really being honest, keep you from facing the aforementioned dark abyss of existential dread, by quickly skimming like thirty five pieces on Happiness.
In 12 Easy Habits That Will Keep You Happy Every Day, (it’s ok to pause and spit your coffee on your screen) I learned about the easy, life changing, and not at all soul crushing habits of investing in quality people who will lift you up, learning a new thing every day, moving on from toxic people, doing random acts of kindness, not trying to change people, focusing on the little wins, buying experiences not things, not checking email first thing, giving to charity, taking short courses online, not living by default, and finally exposing yourself to videos, people, and books who will make you into a better You. But then, two flips later, I found something about how to redo my bedroom in pastels that would also produce complete spiritual happiness and decided that that would probably be a lot more fun and a lot less work.
Anyway, I’m going to need to find a flipboard a category on how to survive flipboard, before this is all over, along with the apocalypse. But in the meantime, I want to pick up the thread of my Lifestyle Brand–Anne’s Complete Guide To Being A Better Person–and offer my own three tips for being happier.
One–Become a Christian so that you don’t have to stare down the gaping maw of your own depravity, sin, failure, unhappiness, and eventual death anymore. I mean, you might have to occasionally glance at it, but it won’t doggedly pursue you what with Jesus having literally taken all that onto himself and gotten rid of it forever.
Two–Remind yourself that it’s ok to experience the full range of human emotions which occasionally includes unhappiness. Not being happy all. the. time is fine. It’s not going to kill you. Sometimes you can be happy and then sad and then angry and then disappointed and then delighted and then frustrated and then content. In fact, better than miserably pursuing happiness, you could think about something else for a just a few seconds. Other things you can think about besides your own happiness include God and Other People.
Three–Embrace the life-changing reality that internet lists do not constitute a law that will actually help you in anyway at all ever. Here’s a thing–organize your life the way you want. It’ll be fine. If you feel unmoored and unhappy, go to church where you can build your life on a rock so solid that nothing can ever shake you, not unhappiness, nor death, nor stress, nor anxiety, nor any of the ordinary troubles of this life that we all have to endure. Also, it’s fine to see a therapist if you’re so unhappy you can’t deal. But also, for the love of all that is good and happy, go. to. church.
Well, there you are. Good luck being happy! And now back to trying to figure out how to use flipbook, I mean board.
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