Lunacy and Failure: I Fly into the Week

Shocked and saddened to see that some people out there, in this great YUGE country, are starting school this morning.

Way back in the day, like last year or something, I started my new year in July, or maybe at the very latest August, having ceased the previous year one or two weeks before. In the usual roundabout of panic I would basically “school all year” hoping to keep failure and sorrow at bay.

This year…wow. Well, first I need to find our lost library book and restore the library’s trust in us as reasonable people. “What’s the name of the book you can’t find?” asked Matt, innocently.

“Timmy Failure,” I said, causing him to spit his coffee onto the coverlet.

So, yeah, I have to find that book, and the book that Elphine and Alouicious have to read before their history class starts, Which Is Not Today. Their class Does Not Start Today.

What does start today is VBS. Marigold and Esmerelda have been going around chanting,”VBS. VBS. VBS.” Except for one brief moment when we passed a juggler in the park and Marigold broke the the rhythm and meter of the whole previous week to breathe out, in agonized wonder, “Must Juggle.”

I’m not even going to spend the week of VBS getting ready for school. Oh no no. I’m going to spend the this whole week getting ready for Catechesis to start back up in September, I’m going to finish my wretched book (that’s it’s official name–just kidding, it’s not called My Wretched Book, it’s called something cool and awesome, and I’m finishing all the edits today dammit I am I am I am), and I’m going to whine and nag Matt to get the last few loads of stuff out of the old house.

Shouldn’t you not have to clean one house until you have thoroughly moved out of and cleaned out the other one? This is why I haven’t been cleaning over here, because I haven’t finished cleaning over there. But I’ve been here so long that I really do need to begin cleaning. But I will not, I tell you, I Will Not Clean here until we get all our stuff out. Or whatever. Maybe I totally will.

Anyway, at least I’m not as out of control as this lunatic who jumps out of an airplane without a parachute, even if it kind of feels like that’s what I’m doing–careening insanely through the sky. Seriously, you have to watch the video and join me in ridiculing the crowd for rejoicing like this person had done something amazing. He is no braver than me. Anyway, at the very end, the reporter say, cough, “History is made as he hugs his wife.”

History is going to totally be made when I find that book. Pip pip.