Dear College Freshmen: 10 Things I Wish I’d Known My First Week of College

Dear Sweet, Starry-Eyed (and quite possibly hung-over) Freshmen Everywhere:

Today you’re leaving your dorm room, throwing a backpack over one shoulder, and walking into your first college class. You’re imagining that in four or five years— armed with a barely-dry diploma– you’ll be ready to conquer the world.

You won’t be.

A college degree is like a very expensive train ticket: you absolutely need it to board the train….but then you can basically wad it up and throw it in the bottom of your carry-on.

But the hard work of earning that very expensive ticket will make you a different, much stronger person than you are today. College, like life, is about the journey—not the destination.

The process of earning your degree will give you credibility and know-how. It will teach you how to set and reach goals, overcome obstacles, and tackle seemingly impossible tasks. It will inspire lifelong friendships, hilarious memories, and a few too many all-nighters. It will be exhausting, but it will also be totally exhilarating and worth every minute of the bumpy ride.

And it will make you into a person who is ready to learn how to conquer the world.

In honor of your first day of classes, I’ve written down the 10 Things I Wish I’d Known when I started my first freshman year.

That’s right, I said first. I was a freshman three times, if you count do-overs at vastly different schools. (#1: Medium-sized Liberal Christian college #2: Tiny super-conservative Christian program #3: Huge, top-ten party school) I lived in three states, moved 18 times, and learned to get along with 30+ roommates. I dated approximately 467 horrible guys. I dropped out, worked for a year, went back to school, and still managed to graduate with a decent GPA, get a great job and become an author.

I think surviving three freshman years basically makes me the world’s top expert on the subject, don’t you?

Here are the Top 10 Things I Wish I’d Known My (first) First Week of College:

1. Take CLEP tests. I know it sounds like an STD, but this is actually a cheap-skate way to get college credits. CLEP (College Level Examination Program) offers 30+ exams in five subject areas. You can earn 3-12 college credits for passing an exam which only costs $80.00! If you are a good crammer, you could probably get just as many credits over summer break as you do in one semester, for a tiny percentage of the cost. Learn more here: http://clep.collegeboard.org/

2. Don’t make mistakes you can’t recover from. Avoid felonies, building an extensive misdemeanor record, and drunk driving. Don’t get addicted to drugs or contract untreatable sexually transmitted diseases. Don’t get pregnant or get someone else pregnant. Don’t be stupid and die from alcohol poisoning. Other than that…party it up. Have a grand time. Enjoy every minute. Someday you’ll work a ton of hours every week and look forward to going to bed at nine pm, so dance until 4am now. Do you hear me? I said DANCE!

3. If you have no idea what you want to do or don’t care about your classes, QUIT SCHOOL after your freshman year. Stop wasting your (or your parents’) money. Get yourself a job, a tough job, preferably something that requires hard labor and steel-toed boots. Work for six months, save all your money, and go travel the world. When you come home, go back to school. Hang the boots where you can see them when you wake up and when you go to sleep. I can’t guarantee you’ll know what you want to do with your life, but I can guarantee you’ll know what you don’t want to do.

 4. Major in something you love, because you probably won’t use your degree anyway. Really.

5. Study hard…play harder. 90% of what you’ll learn in college won’t be in the classroom. There is a time a place for studying, and it isn’t all the time and every place. Get out, make friends, make out. Take last-minute road trips and risks. Have coffee and dollar beers and pizza at dawn. Go to games and events and dances. Your friends and teachers and mentors will teach you more than books ever could. Study hard—but don’t hide in the library for four years.

6. Get along with your roommate(s). If you could only learn one lesson is college, how to get along with roommates is IT. Roommates are like sandpaper: they grate off your rough edges and make you a better future employee, friend, and spouse. If your roommate is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, rotten person…all the better. Life is about getting along with people who believe and act differently than you, and the world is FULL of crazies. Use the opportunity to learn to clean up after yourself, fight fair, communicate, and make difficult relationships work. These are the skills you’ll need in everyday life.

6.5   If you can’t do #6, it’s YOU. This is a tough but needed lesson. If you have three roommates and can’t get along with any of them, the problem is YOU. Learn to take personal responsibility in every interpersonal situation. No matter how wacky Wanda or Jim is, keep your side of the room clean (figuratively when it comes to emotions, and literally when it comes to the bathroom).

6.75 Seriously, GET ALONG!!!

7. Go to therapy. Most universities offer low to no-cost therapy for students. Believe me when I say this: you need therapy. Everyone does. Your future self (and boss and friends and spouse) will thank you for doing the work now that will save heartache later. If you can establish good habits now, you’ll shave some time off Adultolescence later.

8. DO NOT apply for a credit card your freshman or sophomore year. Repeat after me: Credit cards are EVIL. The only cards you’ll qualify for will have an interest rate just shy of loan-shark. Do open a bank account and get a cell phone and/or utility bill in your name and PAY ON TIME EVERY MONTH. If you do these things, you’ll start building the positive credit score you’ll need when you go to buy your first post-college car or house. (A day that will come faster than you expect.) Speaking of housing, when you move off campus make sure your lease is separate from your roommate’s lease. That way if s/he bails, you’re not left with the bill.

9. Pay attention to the amount of your student loans. It’s easy to shove it aside and think “I’ll be able to pay that off someday, easy!” but it’s also easy to mortgage your future so heavily that you won’t be able to buy a house until you’re 53. Or never, if you also got into credit card debt. Make sure you understand what $25,000, $50,000 or $100,000 means in monthly payment before you borrow!

10. You will break. The God, religion, worldview or philosophy you grew up with will break. And that’s okay. Even if it’s painful, even if it really, really sucks, this means you are learning to think for yourself, which is a huge part of becoming an adult! Your heart will break. Your car will break down. You might even break a bone or two. In a few years you’ll have broken so many times and in so many places that you’ll barely recognize yourself. That’s the bad news. But the good news—the GREAT news—is that every time you break, you’ll become stronger. Every time you break, you’ll become more authentically YOU. Just like a baby chick has to peck its way out of the shell, you have to break to move from who you are to the person you will become.

One last thing: Write a letter to your future self via www.FutureMe.org Tell the FutureYou of five or ten years from now what you’re worried/excited/thinking about today. Dream about the person you’ll become. Set some goals. Then go out and dance until 4am, so FutureYou can remember what it feels like to be you, just as you are today…on the first day of the rest of your life.

Have FUN!

Love, Reba

PS: If any of this helps you, I’d love to hear about it! www.facebook.com/RebaRileyAuthor