Resource Intensive

Resource Intensive is probably my all-time favorite computer term because it works so well in my life. In computer-ese, it’s a part of the computer that sucks all the power and needs the most attention. Funny, it means the same thing in mom-speak.

Resource intensive is my normally easy going 3 year old when she has a cold. Her normal breakfast request is “Honeycomb in a bowl and milk in a cup.” Easy-peasy. This morning, after a being sick a while, it was “I need waffle crisp cereal in a bowl with a handle so I can eat it on the couch, but not the yellow bowl. It has two handles. And I need milk in a cup with a lid, but not the Dora cup, the Spongebob cup. The blue one with the green lid.” Nothing like knowing what you want is there?

Later from the bathroom, I heard, “Moooommmmmmyyyyyyy. I need you to wipe my boooootttttoooommmmm!.” (I tell you, it’s a glamorous life I lead.)Only to be told by the expert that I didn’t wipe the poop right, I would need to do it again. Oh, and could I use the toilet paper from Daddy’s bathroom? It’s softer. (It’s all the same brand. Sheesh.)

The Principessa needed to get dressed and wanted her Cinderella shirt. I couldn’t find the right one; the one I found had an itchy tag. So, I cut off the tag. Cue tears streaming down the face “Mommy, why did you break my shirt? I can’t wear a broken shirt.” Sob. Sob. Sniffle.

Sigh.

Right now, she’s pouting in her father’s chair because the episode of Angelina Ballerina on the TV is a rerun and her mean mother refuses to call the television station and ask them to put on a new one. “You could ask..” Whine. Whine.

Yes, she’s become a monster and it will take me weeks to get her back to normal, but she’s my monster.

Unless…

Anybody want to buy a slightly used monster? I could make you a deal.