If They Knew What I Know

The Computer Guy has been job hunting. Honest to goodness call the headhunters, prepare the cover letters, looking for employment. After 14 years of working for his present employer, he’s had enough and is looking anywhere and everywhere for someone who needs an exceptionally brilliant (and dead sexy) computer geek.

He has been sending in resumes and getting very little response. I know that this is normal. The HR departments get 100-500 resumes for every opening, I’m told. How can one or two people sift through all that and hope to find the best candidate? I must admit that it seems daunting to me and I don’t even have to attempt it.

Is it childish of me to be slightly offended when he gets a “Thanks, but no thanks” letter? I just want to drive to their offices and shake them. Are they crazy? Did I mention the brilliance? The sexiness? Perhaps that’s it…they’re intimidated…

Do you think it would help to direct a documentary starring the 5 Little Kids all about why their dad would be the ideal candidate for any job? Do you think they would go for “We want to live closer to Grandma”? I have 5 artists at the ready who are prepared to add color enhancements to any resume that leaves his desk. Are there extra points for creativity? My 8 year old could win that hands down. I want to do everything we can to help, but how do you sell the greatest guy on earth without sounding like it’s just a line?

So, please pray for my dear, sweet, genius Computer Guy. He needs a job….and a Valium for his white-knuckled wife who can’t stand the suspense any longer. Do you think I could take that with a large martini? Oy vey…my nerves are shot.

Please God, give me patience, and be quick about it!

P.S. Need a computer guy? Send me your email address, and I’ll send you his resume. I offer a loaf of my world famous (alright..famous among my friends) warm and soft oatmeal bread if you give him a job.