Muddle

My days are all confused. My brain has turned to mush. I sat down at the computer this morning to write my Friday haiku, got almost finished and then realized that today is Wednesday.

I’m just discombobulated this morning. I have been thinking and praying so hard about the impending changes in our lives, that my brain is having a difficult time focusing on anything else.

Do you ever get the feeling that God is like a little kid with a present? Sitting there, giggling to Himself, knowing that you’re going to love it, but dragging out the anticipation until you can’t stand it any more? Because the anticipation and build up are part of the gift. Just sitting there….I’ve never been big on surprises. Should I tell Him that? Okay, Almighty One….just cut it out and hand it over already…whatever you have behind your back…’cause really, this isn’t fun anymore. In fact it stopped being fun the day the stress got to me and I started ugly crying in the back yard. That’s not fun for anyone.

This whole stupid job search and the rising cost of everything are killing me slowly here. Just tell me it’s part of the plan…there is a plan, right?…and I’ll let you string me along a while longer.

I’ve started asking St Rita, Patron of the Impossible, for help praying. We’ve got a system worked out. At least I’ve worked it out, and she hasn’t objected yet. I pray while I’m awake, she prays while I’m asleep. Thank God for the “silent cloud of witnesses” and that they are ready to jump in and pray.

Ever get the feeling that some saints are used to being asked for help all the time and that others are the nerdy kids from gym class, hopping around and waving their arms in the air, just hoping to be picked to play? St Rita is that girl for me. I knew hardly anything about her, then three close friends said I should be asking for her help, I looked her up and it was her feast day. I can take a hint. God thinks I need to learn to ask other people for help. Cool. I can do that. He also seems to think I need to learn patience. I think He’s going to be teaching me that one for the rest of my life.

SO, pray for us please. I’m supposed to be asking for help. Pray that the job search ends, and ends well, and that God grants me patience….and that He does it right now.