Unconditional

My in laws are in town visiting us for the next few days.  They are in the process of moving to Kentucky on what they laughingly call “our new great adventure.”  It is an unexpectedly daring move for people who aren’t known for their unpredictability.

I watch their laughing excitement over the changes they are facing.  I hear them speak in excited tones about the houses they’re considering, and the kinds of furniture they might get to put in those rooms.  It’s like getting a glimpse of who they were 40 years ago when they were just starting out together.  What a joy it has been for me today to hear them sound like young kids just starting out on something grand.

I will admit though to a bit of sadness that they are moving so far away from us and not a little bit closer.  I want for my children to know what it is to have adoring grandparents as a constant fixture in their lives instead of as occasional guests.

My children bloom under the adoring gaze of grandparents for whom too much will never be enough.

My father-in-law patiently reads long and complicated bedtime stories which I never have the patience or the energy to make it all the way though, and he stops to explain the complicated bits and make sure everyone keeps up with the action.  My mother in law holds the baby all day, relinquishing her only long enough for me to nurse, and then eagerly taking her back into grandma’s arms.  Even the distasteful parts of parenting, like diaper changes, aren’t treated like a burden but a privilege.

How I wish that they lived on the next street so that I could learn from their example of how to love a child.  I want to know how to slow down the day, set aside the chores, and just drink in the nearness of these little people.  I want to learn how to look at the drudgery of my life as a mom of 7 and see the blessings which they find hidden in the work.  Sometimes all that it takes is watching the example of someone else to show us the truth of what we have.  I wish they were closer so that I could see their example all the time.

I want for my babies to have the blessing of unconditional love and acceptance as a fixture in their world.  Where parents have to correct and discipline, grandparents have only to love and enjoy.  They get to teach by much gentler means, and I think we are poorer for not having that gentle touch around us all the time.

So, I wish them well on their great adventure.  I know they will enjoy traveling and exploring together (and I really do hope that my mother in law buys that yellow Corvette she dreams of driving), but I hope that they don’t find what they are looking for in the mountains of Kentucky.  I hope they come to realize that all the excitement they could wish to know is right here in a Dallas suburb and just wishing to drop in for a visit, a chocolate chip cookie, and an outpouring of secrets and dreams the way only grandparents get to hear them.