Shoved to Them
1. I like to eat an apple in the morning for breakfast because I like the sweetness and the crunch. It’s a very satisfying thing, that crunch. But this morning we were all out of apples, so I went looking for a substitute. Bananas are sweet-ish, but no crunch. Cauliflower has crunch though, so I went with that. That’s when I discovered that you have to eat a lot of cauliflower before you will feel full from just eating cauliflower.
2. Cauliflower full-ness doesn’t last very long.
3. Cauliflower for breakfast will make you crave cupcakes from the local bakery…..the dark chocolate cake, caramel filling, toasted coconut on top kind.
4. This kind
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| If my husband is reading this, they’re called Samoas. I love you! |
5. Babies cutting 5 teeth at the same time are not so much fun. I sorta could have guessed that, but thanks to #7 I know it for sure.
6. There is not enough Tylenol in the world to make a baby cutting 5 teeth at once feel better.
7. Staying up at night to rock a teething baby will pretty much assure that my brain is wide awake and that I won’t be able to sleep for the rest of the night.
8. I can sing at the top of my lungs and make tons of noise while washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen at 2 AM and not a single person will wake up.
9. If I turn on the TV even on the I-can-barely-hear-it volume, 2 children will awaken upstairs, come to find me, and demand cartoons.
10. Nail polish remover won’t get nail polish out of carpets.
11. Carpet cleaner and a determined 8 year old will.
12. A clean rag and a warm iron will get lip gloss off the same carpet.
13. The next person who gives my 8 year old make-up will get a smack upside the head.
14. I’m not even kidding about that smack.
15. When the ADD kicks in, my shopping list looks like this : carpet shampooer, spray paint, tooth paste, fabric glue, Worcestershire sauce, and a Lego guy.
16. I will remember the Lego guy and forget the toothpaste.
17. You can’t spot clean a stain on the sofa. It will only reveal how filthy the rest of the upholstery is.
18. Steam cleaning the sofa is an all day project. Don’t listen to people who tell you it’s only an hour or two. They lie.
19. Stir fried veggies and brown rice make a yummy lunch.
20. I think I need some more right now.
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