Hey Democrats — Get Your Minds Outta My Pants

*** Do you really need a content warning for this?  It starts off with walking vaginas.  In case that’s not obvious enough for you……Content Warning!!!***

Walking vaginas

Demands for free contraception

Acting like a slut is a fine thing to be

Turning voting into a sexual experience

Telling me to “Vote with my Lady Parts”

If I didn’t know better, I’d think this was all a little bit misogynistic, but I do know better.  I learned it from the feminists I met in college.  They taught me that as long as a man was in favor of abortion he could say anything he wanted about women and he was okay.  That’s how I knew that the art professor who said that the perfect woman only needed “two tits, a hole, and a heartbeat” was funny.  (He wore a Vote for Clinton t-shirt — so he was pro-woman just funny.)  It’s how I knew that the polite guy in history class, who always held the door open for me because my hands were usually full of books, hated women.  He voted for Bush.  (The first one.  It was 1992.)

When I was young and unmarried, the creepy guys were the ones who talked about nothing but sex while, usually, staring at your boobs.  Things seem to have changed since the “dark ages” of the early ’90s.  Now the guys who talk about sex non-stop and can’t get their minds away from our “lady parts” are hailed as the champions of womyn-kind!

Well, I have a message for these “Champions of Womyn!”

Dear Democrats,
You seem to be under the mistaken impression that the women in this country are nothing more than a bunch of vaginas walking around looking for a “good time” to happen. You have reduced us to nothing more than the sum total of the “lady parts” we’re sitting on.  

You tell us “Free pills for everyone and religious liberty be damned!” and expect us to break into cheers.

We ask about the economy and you reply “Those abortions will be much more affordable now.”

You talk about equality for women, and that sounds like a wonderful thing!  Then the President pays his own female staff $9,000 per year less than their male counterparts.

Top it all off with a creepy campaign ad comparing voting for your candidate with losing my virginity to “a great guy”, and all I can say to you people is:

Ick!  When did you become so gross?

I keep hoping to see some representative of your campaign or administration come out and apologize for treating women as if we’re nothing more than “two tits, a hole, a heartbeat… and a voting hand.”

But you never do.  

By portraying women as slutty snatches looking only to get laid, this campaign and administration have set women back decades in our quest for respect and equal anything.  Thanks for that.

Can you do me a favor?  Can you stop?

There’s a week left to go until the election, and I’m hoping that for the rest of that time you can get your minds outta my pants and talk about the things that really matter to the women of America.  We want to hear about the economy, taxes, that out of control deficit (seriously, you think birth control pills are more important to me than the deficit?), or what the hell actually happened in Benghazi?    

So stop treating us like vaginas which happen to be attached to bodies, and speak to the part of us that really matters — our brains.  Quit thinking only of my girly bits (your fixation is a bit disturbing) and start talking to me as a voter.

Thank you.