Grandma Says

Earlier this evening, I mentioned to my 96-year-old grandmother that I haven’t been sleeping very well.

“The problem,” she told me, “is that you don’t know how to relax. You should just have a nip of whiskey before bed and you’ll sleep just fine.”

“How much whiskey?” I asked her.

“Well…it’s different for every person…so what you should do is get out one of your drinking glasses and just start pouring the whiskey into it. When you say to yourself, ‘Holy crap, that’s kind of  a lot of whiskey!’ That’s how much’ll do ya.”