Shoved to Them
I can still remember so clearly the day I learned that you were coming. You were our gift of joy out of sorrow. Our lives had been shattered by the death of your sister six weeks before that positive pregnancy test. I can still feel the stunned disbelief in my memory. How could there possibly be you?
What an unexpected surprise you have been to us. You were the healing calm that God gave to us, the unexpected laughter sprung from our tears. God knew exactly who we needed when He gave us you. You often remind us of the wonder in mud and water puddles and help us to remember that happiness is often a messy business, it is sorrow which is clean.
Your flashing blue eyes show the delight you take in the world. You see your surroundings with an honest clarity which grown ups too often miss. I see bird feathers on the ground and think of insects, you see a tickley thing which is a whole day’s worth of fun. I see a long walk home from the park, you see a winding path to run down while screaming in laughter. I see that old nasty truck book which we read ten times a day, you see an excuse to climb on my lap and snuggle in with your head under my chin and your little hand in mine.
How I wish we could hold on to the innocence and laughter of your being 3. It is such a time of laughing joy and wild discovery. You are finally big enough to walk a few steps ahead of me and begin to explore things on your own. Just know that with every step you take my heart with you, my son. Soon enough, some other girl will come and take my place in your life, and that’s as it should be. But right now, you are still my own sweet baby and I am grateful everyday for the gift of you.
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