I was a honeymoon baby. For those unfamiliar with the term, I was born exactly 9 months after my parents got married. I never anticipated that I would have any struggles with infertility or that I would need a miracle to get to be a mother. When I got married I assumed I needed to be careful so I could get to know my husband a little bit before we started our family.
My parents never told me that my grandmothers on both sides had multiple miscarriages. And my mother’s mother even struggled to have babies at all. Of course that wasn’t discussed 20 years ago so I was shocked when it happened to me.
Miscarriage
Talking about this is so hard. But a year into our marriage we were suddenly expecting. And I was so excited! I went to my first OB appointment and my hormone levels were a little low, so they had me start progesterone as a precaution. But at my 12-week appointment suddenly there was no heartbeat.
I was stupid and wanted to avoid surgery. I had heard there were risks with the D&C procedure, that I could get scar tissue and have a hard time having other kids. So I elected to stop the hormones and let the pregnancy terminate naturally. NEVER DO THAT.
Even an early miscarriage means labor
The Dr didn’t mention that it would take 2 weeks to pass and that I would go through actual labor. LABOR! It was horrible! Ibuprofen does nothing for actual labor. Of course, Murphy’s law, it all happened on the weekend when the Dr was closed.
I remember laying on the floor just sure I was going to die. It hurt so much!! It felt like adding insult to injury after carrying a dead baby for two weeks. I was not in a good place. So far my journey to motherhood sucked.
We were at BYU at the time, in a congregation that only had newly married students. There were a LOT of babies and pregnant mommies in our group. Fortunately, my husband graduated from BYU and we moved 2,000 miles for his first job. It was a relief to get out in the real world and try to clear my head.
Moving to Philadelphia
We joined a wonderful congregation in Philadelphia. They welcomed us like family and we loved being there. We still have many friends from that time. We were happy on the outside, but on the inside, I was broken.
I missed my baby who was never born. And to make matters worse, I lost two more babies in Philadelphia. But we were in an amazing place for infertility help. I went to a Dr at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital.
She was an amazing doctor. And she found the problem, but it wasn’t as easy to solve as I’d hoped. We tried everything until the Dr told me all I could do to become a mother was to do IVF.
I was devastated when I got the news. At the time I worked in an office with a great lady who had been doing IVF. They had done 7 rounds with no success. And they had mortgaged everything they owned in the process. I couldn’t do that to our family.
Bad News
We went home and prayed. I knew that I wanted to be a mother. But I also knew myself and if I started doing IVF that I would keep going. I was very goal-oriented. About that time I found a magazine article about a couple who had decided to get off the infertility merry-go-round. And I had to admit to myself just how hard that whole thing had been.
The pills, the tests, the roller coaster of emotions each month as I hoped to be pregnant just to be disappointed. I realized I needed space from it all. And I know my husband did too.
He is such a good guy. I offered to let him go find another wife when I found out I couldn’t have kids. I wanted him to be happy. But he stayed, knowing it may never be our blessing. And I am so grateful he did.
Priesthood Blessing
We needed God’s guidance, and neither of us felt like we could hear clear answers anymore on this topic. So we went to our Bishop for a Priesthood Blessing. The Lord spoke to us through the Bishop and let us know that He needed our service.
God promised us that if we would serve Him that He would bless us with a baby. I was so thrilled to have a clear way forward that I practically floated out of our Bishop’s office.
A week later my husband was asked to be part of a newly formed congregation for the Young Single Adults in the Philadelphia northeast area. It was the beginning of a beautiful time in our lives.
We were the same age as the Young Single Adults we got to serve. My husband was in the leadership and I got to be a “Ward Mom” to girls my age. It was kind of surprising, but SO fun!
Serving and Loving it
In the LDS church, each congregation is led by 3 men, and this congregation also got 3 moms, the wives of these men. We had weekly after-church luncheons, weekly “Family Home Evening” activities, and countless adventures with the congregation.
We got to participate in dances and regional conferences. And most importantly we got to make some amazing friends and watch so many people we love form their families.
I even got to draw on my education and taught a class we jokingly called “dating for dummies”. It was relationship focused and a wonderful way to lighten the stress around dating. It was a great experience serving those wonderful people.
And a couple of years into our adventure I found out I was pregnant. It was a total shock! We hadn’t been trying, and I had stopped going to the Doctor when we had gotten our blessing. It was a complete miracle!
A Perfect Miracle
I learned enough through my miscarriages to know that as soon as I had a positive test I needed to get to the Dr., and she was so supportive and excited for me.
I had a lot of imaging and attention for the first trimester and it was such a beautiful thing to see my tiny miracle baby wiggling on the ultrasound. When my doctor released me to go see a regular OBGYN I was beyond thrilled!
My son was born a healthy and beautiful full-term baby. The Lord had held up His end of the bargain. And the amazing thing? We never once felt like our service to God was hard. It wasn’t a trial, or difficult in any way.
It was a time full of love and adventure. And it opened my eyes to the pattern of all our service to God. God is so full of love and so giving with His blessings, that serving Him is never a trial. I have my wonderful miracle baby as a daily reminder that God keeps His promises. And I know He will do the same for you.
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