Autism, Survivor, and Seeing the Gifts in the Struggle

Autism, Survivor, And The Church

I’m an autism mom. My son was diagnosed when he was 6, and it has been a long journey trying to find what helps him overcome his challenges. So when I saw this clip from the television show Survivor where Joe stepped out of his team to comfort Eva, I got emotional. It meant the world to me to get to see Eva, who also has autism, succeed. And I loved how the host, Jeff Probst, also got emotional.

The best part of this clip is how Eva explained what an autistic episode of overwhelm looks and feels like. I was so proud of the show for allowing Eva to cope in the way she needed to cope. She had gotten overwhelmed during a very difficult challenge. She completed the challenge, but it put her over the edge, and her system got out of whack. As she screamed and screamed, Joe left his team with the host’s permission and comforted her. He helped her regulate again and calm down.

Regulating

Seeing an autism meltdown in an adult is a little different than one in a child. But it’s often confusing. And I am so proud of Eva for explaining what was going on, and why she had been screaming. Often, when kids have autism meltdowns, people assume it’s a temper tantrum. But the disregulation shows up when you give the child what they were asking for, and the tears don’t stop. They have tipped over the edge and need help to come back down from the overwhelm that envelopes their system.

Watch the scene on Surivor’s YouTube Channel.

We have been on this autism journey now for 10 years. When my son was first diagnosed, his Primary teachers had no idea how to help him. But the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has been very progressive in its efforts to help kids on the autism spectrum. I was recently given a new church job, called a disability specialist. That job has never existed before. I get to sit in Sunday School and see if there is something the Church can do to help make services easier for every disability.

The Church is improving its support

For example, we added microphones in both Priesthood and Relief Society meetings, so that those who are hard of hearing can hear comments from the class. And the teacher now speaks into a microphone no matter which room they are in. It makes it much easier to hear the lesson.

In Primary when my son was young, they used to place the piano right in front of the youngest kids. It was enough to overwhelm my son in moments. Now they have changed how the room is laid out. Primary rooms are long and narrow. And instead of having the “front” of the room be on the narrow end, it’s on the wide end. And the kids no longer sit right by the piano.

The kids now sit in a different order entirely. They used to sit in rows by age, with the littlest kids in the front row, and each row getting older as you go back. They would have the teacher sit with their class somewhere in the row. Now the teachers sit in the back row, and the kids sit all together. The little kids are mixed into the older kids, and it’s an every other seat situation. It goes older kid, little kid, older kid, little kid, all down the rows.

Primary is better

This seating arrangement allows the older kids to be an example and support for the younger kids. Sometimes kids need each other, and a kid is often a better support than an adult. And no longer are there many, many rows of chairs. With the room set up width-wise wise there are only 3 rows, and everyone is close to the front and close to the action. I also noticed there are figit toys available for any kid that needs it. And even though there are still adult leaders who will likely never really understand, at least they are trying.

I’m proud of the Church and Survivor for being progressive and inclusive. Autism is not going anywhere, and in fact more kids are diagnosed today than ever before. If it is caused by an environmental factor, I hope they find the cause. But I suspect it’s genetic. We have at least one or two people on the autism spectrum in my family in every generation. And for our family the autism is accompanied by a genius-level understanding of whatever special interest the individual loves.

I know some suffer from autism that is debilitating, and I know some of those folks. It’s devastating for their families. But I also know of miracles where some individuals who have been trapped in their bodies have found ways to communicate. And those stories are truly beautiful. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches us that we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father, who sent us to Earth to learn and grow. And some of our growth includes huge challenges.

Overcoming Autism

I feel like those who have autism must be extremely strong souls. Since our lives are supposed to be a challenge, these souls could handle extra challenges. I still feel like autism is unfair and heartbreaking in many ways. But my son can see through facades and see people’s hearts so easily. I feel it’s a compensating gift of autism.

That’s one more thing I want to point out. Autism comes with gifts. We used to call them my son’s “Super Powers”. He is incredibly gifted with animals. They just love him! I once witnessed a baby chick fall asleep as my 5-year-old held it in his hands. Can you imagine? Most baby chicks can’t get away from kids fast enough. They are too unpredictable. But my son has a gentle energy about him that animals are drawn to.

Another of my son’s “Super Powers” is that his mind can see how things work, like a 3D model moving in front of his face. I suspect it’s part of his ADHD, because I can see things like that too, and I have ADHD. He can also hear any engine and tell you what make and model just passed by without looking at it. It’s the same with fire alarms. He can tell you the model and manufacturer and even what the pattern of beeps is called. I don’t have that gift.

The World is learning

I first wrote about my son’s autism, giving him superpowers, in 2016. At that time, my article was the only one online that discussed anything positive in Autism. Today as I searched for the link for this article, I see SO many other publications have seen the light. Even Psychology Today has acknowledged that autism includes superpowers. It’s a beautiful thing to see the world wake up.

There are so many challenges with autism. Seeing the gifts buried in the challenges is a breath of fresh air. And this episode of Survivor was a breath of fresh air for me. Thank you to the producers and host of the show who helped everyone get a glimpse of overcoming the challenges of autism. You have made the world a better place.