(Continued from the previous post)
I drove home from work frustrated, tired and spent. My Big Idea had been argued over, stomped on, and dismissed in the course of 30 minutes during a late afternoon conference. Instead of coming out the hero, I lost complete control of the meeting.
Usually when I get iced out by a colleague or shot down in a meeting, I will either mope around for a few days, or else I will busy myself planning a suitable revenge.
But this time was different.
Because, ironically enough, this fateful meeting-gone-terribly-wrong happened to occur less than 24 hours after the Princeton Leadership & Spirituality Event – the same seminar where I spent two days getting all lathered up around the infinitely positive potential of God’s mighty spirit at work through my leadership position.
Well. Could this unpleasant turn of events be an opportunity to develop my new spiritual leadership skills? Was this a test, of sorts?
As I was driving home, I remembered how Dr. Stephen Payne, a seasoned leadership coach and the head of the Princeton event, recounted stories of leaders slipping into the dreaded spiral of despair and gloom because of performance pressure, corporate politics, projects gone bad, for all sorts of reasons. All of us participants nodded in a sad sort of recognition. We’ve all been there, we said, and we want to rise above it next time. Please, kind sir, how can we access the Spirit to allow God to help us move beyond our lousy circumstances, to do the right thing?
“When you are facing that point of despair,” Dr. Payne told us, “You must remember that you are God’s leader, and that your purpose is far greater than the negative circumstances before you. Do not give in to your fears or negative emotions. Choose to trust that you are loved by God and that He will lead you through to the other side.”
I considered all of this as I began to chant, quietly at first, the affirmation that Dr. Payne had encouraged us to repeat.
“I am God’s leader.” I said to myself out loud, all alone in the car.
“I am God’s leader.”
I repeated the statement, ignoring the stares coming from the cars next to me at the red light. That’s right, stare all you want. It’s just a guy in a car on his way home from a lousy day at work talking to God. That’s all this is!
“I am God’s Leader!”
“I AM God’s Leader!!”
My voice gained confidence and volume with each statement. I began pounding the steering wheel with each affirmation, to add emphasis.
“I AM GOD’S LEADER!” <bam!>
” I AM GOD’S <bam!> LEADER!!” <bam!>
“I <bam!> AM <bam!> GOD’S <bam!> LEEEEAAAAAADER!!” <BAM!>
Approaching the final leg of my trip home, I added a British accent, which sounded even more convincing.
“AYE <bam> AHHHM <bam> GAWD’S <bam> LEYDEH! “<bam!>
By the end of the commute I also determined that “Ray of Light” by Madonna played at full volume was very good theme music for this particular exercise.
As I pulled into the garage, I decided to completely and utterly forget the whole thing for the rest of the night, to enjoy my evening at home, and trust God for the outcome. And that’s exactly what I did.
(Thanks to nAncY for the photo.)
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