The Down Side of Networking: Trading Up

Not long ago I attended one of those industry conventions – you know, several days of no-holds-barred! sessions and seminars followed by informal networking opportunities which are lubricated with heavy appetizers and alcohol.

It’s really fun.

This is generally a good idea, to mingle with complete strangers, since I like meeting people and making new friends and connecting with potential business contacts. We’re all in this together, is how I see it.

But on this particular occassion, I found myself randomly mingled with a fellow who thought he could have done better.

“What company are you with?” he asked. I told him. He tilted his head and scrunched up his eyebrows, calculating whether or not I should be on his target list.

“And what is it that you do there?” he continued. Standard introductory networking questions. No problem. I explained my role and the reason I was at the conference, trying to sound smart and legit. As I was speaking, he seemed to immediately lose interest, and started scanning the room.

I tried to engage him in conversation by asking what he thought about the state of the industry, as touted by a speaker in one of the sessions.

He replied with some shallow answer as his eyes continued to dart around the room, looking in every direction but my face. I tried valiantly to hold up my end of the conversation with witty chatter and insight, and then it dawned on me.

He was trading up.

Sure enough, his eyes soon locked on to a suitable passer-by, and he quickly exited with a “Sorry, I’ve got to talk to this guy.”

I know the word you are thinking of right now to describe this man, a word that sounds like “aerosol.” I would say that you are definitely in the ballpark.

Apparently, I was not quite in the league that he was shooting for, as our conversation would not lead him to a sale, or a deal, or an important connection. In fact, he made it clear, I was a waste of his time.

And me? Well, I was just looking to get to know people, maybe learn something new or share some war stories and find some common ground.

So the lesson here – well, really, must I spell it out? He made me feel like an idiot.

If this gentleman could not bring himself to be real or authentic with me, another human being who happens to be at a networking event, then what makes you think he would be any different with the ones who actually are his business targets? Either way, his interactions are contrived and manipulative.

Who wants to do business with someone like that?

That’s one of the things I like most about Jesus. You get the feeling that he made each person feel like they were the most important person in the universe at the moment he was speaking to them. He zoned in and saw only their need, their personal mess, their incredible potential – whether it was for five seconds or five days. He saw who he was talking to.

I don’t care if it’s business or your family or the acquaintance you run into at the grocery store. The person who is in front of you at any given moment is worth it. And I can assure you that it is entirely within the realm of possibility to pay attention when someone is speaking to you.

Even at a business networking event.

Photo by Nancy Rosback.