Biblical names

Biblical names January 22, 2008

The annual list of popular baby names from the Social Security Administration is chock full of biblical names on the boy’s side — 13 out of the top 20. Less so on the girl’s side — only six of the top 20.

Inspired by that imbalance, I present the following.

7 biblical women’s names that deserve wider usage:

1. Tirzah. This name has never cracked the SSA’s Top 1,000 list — not even after it was used in the movie Ben Hur. That’s a shame, because Tirzah was an impressive woman (see “Hoglah” below).

2. Jael. You meet plenty of people named after Mary, the other biblical character praised as “most blessed of women,” but I’ve never met or even heard of anyone named after Jael. Maybe it’s because the name translates, literally, as “mountain goat.” Or maybe it’s because “bad-ass” isn’t what most parents are looking for in a name for their baby girl. Jael was bad-ass. She took out Sisera, the general in charge of the invading army:

Barak came by in pursuit of Sisera, and Jael went out to meet him. “Come,” she said, “I will show you the man you’re looking for.” So he went in with her, and there lay Sisera with the tent peg through his temple — dead.

Don’t mess with Jael.

3. Deborah. If we’re going to mention Jael, we also need to mention Deborah — the other heroine of this story from the book of Judges, which is all about the men dithering and the women bailing them out with real courage and leadership (and tent pegs).

4. Sophia. This actually cracked the Top 10 last year for girl’s names. It’s a Greek name, but I’ve linked it there to Proverbs 8, which certainly wasn’t written in Greek. That passage is a hymn in praise of Wisdom, which is what Sophia means, making it, arguably, a divine name, a name for an aspect of God.

5. Susanna. Steven Foster may have knocked this name out of favor by forcing a connotation of banjos on knees, but it’s still a lovely name. Susanna was one of Jesus’ earliest disciples and — unlike those freeloaders Peter, James and John — she paid her own way: “helping to support them out of their own means.”

6. Phoebe. The NIV calls Phoebe a “servant” of the Roman church. Everywhere else that term is used it is translated “deacon,” but the translators didn’t like the idea of a woman as a deacon so, in this one case, they changed it to “servant,” with a guilty footnote suggesting “or deaconess.” That’s a made-up word, too, “deacon-ess.” The problem with the name nowadays is it’s probably associated more with Friends than with the first-century church leader. (I liked Lisa Kudrow’s wifty character, but that’s not quite the set of connotations I’m looking for here.)

7. Priscilla. The translation games used to demote most of the female leaders (like Phoebe, above) in the early church didn’t work with Priscilla since she’s almost always mentioned as part of a tag-team with her husband, Aquila. They couldn’t very well twist the translation to refer to both of them as “deaconesses” or some such. Paul regarded them, both of them, as his peers. Priscilla is also thought by some to be the author of the epistle to the Hebrews, which is as good a guess as any. The downside: Ever been to Graceland?

7 biblical women’s names to avoid:

1. Leah. “Leah was not loved,” the book of Genesis tells us. And she was horribly misused, treated as a pawn by her father and her husband. Even the translators of the New International Version pile on. “Leah had weak eyes,” Gen. 29:17 says, although the footnote suggests that “weak” there might also be translated “delicate.” But they just had to go with “weak,” didn’t they? That’s how everybody treated Leah, poor woman. Leah is a beautiful name, but this is a pretty rough set of connotations to saddle your daughter with.

2. Jezebel. If they were casting a movie of the books of Kings, this is the part that every actress would want, but it’s not a popular girls name for the same reason that Lady Macbeth is not a popular girls name.

3. Sapphira. She and her husband figured out a scheme that would let them keep much of their wealth while still reaping praise and credit for giving all of it away. The scheme didn’t quite work out the way they planned. So not a great role model. Plus, you’d pretty much be dooming your daughter to work as an exotic dancer.

4. Gomer. I love the book of Hosea. I love the portrait it paints of God waiting patiently, singing Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” more saddened than wrathful. But poor Hosea and his wife, Gomer, wind up with miserable roles to play to illustrate this divine romance. Nobody is likely to name their daughter “Gomer,” of course, because of Gomer Pyle, but you’d actually be better off naming your little girl after Jim Nabors than after the biblical Gomer.

5. Lo-Ruhammah. Hosea and Gomer’s daughter’s name means “not loved.” Again, I love the book of Hosea, but wasn’t there some way to make this point without dooming this poor girl to a lifetime of therapy?

6. Noah. (see below)

7. Hoglah. Noah and Hoglah were actually very cool, admirable women — two of Zelophehad’s three daughters who fought for — and won — women’s right to inherit and own property a few millennia before Jane Austen. Unfortunately, Noah’s a bit more famous as a boy’s name, and Hoglah isn’t terribly euphonious (suggesting unfortunate nicknames). We can honor their spirit through the name of their sister, Tirzah, who joined them in persuading Moses that denying them their rights just because they were women was indefensible.


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