9 years ago: Denial is a happy place

July 13, 2004, on this blog: Denial is a happy place

It’s never easy to accept that you’ve been duped — especially when you’ve been duped on a massive scale. And the fact that it’s pretty obvious only makes it harder to accept. Thus the great allure — and the great power — of denial.

This is how con artists make a living. They rely on the fact that their victims don’t want to accept even to themselves — let alone to the police — just how thoroughly they’ve been hoodwinked. Victims want to cling to their pride. They want to be able to look in the mirror and see a person who wouldn’t have fallen for the ruse they just fell for. They refuse to accept that they are victims — even if that means embracing irrational explanations and shifting to a kind of unreality. They refuse to accept the shame that accompanies admitting “I was duped,” and so they compound that shame by duping themselves even further.