August 5, 2011, on this blog: You might be an evangelical …
Start listing a few and it becomes hard to stop:
If you feel guilty for not keeping up with your quiet time, then you might be an evangelical.
If you have strong opinions about when, precisely, Amy Grant “sold out,” then you might be an evangelical.
If the first time you saw your uncle’s shot-glass collection, you wondered where he got all those fancy communion cups, then …
If you’ve never been skiing without rededicating your life to Christ at a bonfire afterwards, then …
If you’ve ever forgotten to set your clock back at the end of Daylight Savings Time and your first thought at seeing the empty church parking lot was, “Oh no, I’ve missed the Rapture,” then …
If you never watched Highway to Heaven, not because it was too preachy, but because it aired on Wednesday nights, then …
If you knew that “Wednesday nights” in the previous joke was a reference to prayer meeting, then …
If you’ve ever played the tambourine while wearing a tie, then …
If you can’t look at Kente cloth without thinking what those colors stand for in The Wordless Book, then …
If you’ve ever informed someone you’ve just met that they deserve to suffer in Hell for eternity, and you said this without a trace of anger, then …
If the last rock concert you went to included an altar call, then …
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