‘We’re here to sow some words’

‘We’re here to sow some words’ September 24, 2013

“Here’s the route I imagined Rocky took: His house on Lambert to Passyunk, which he took all the way down to South Street. Then Fourth to Callowhill to Delaware Avenue … to Beach Street to Richmond to Schirra and back to Beach, which dead ends to a spot to sneak on to the train tracks.”

“If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. If he doesn’t leave, brush him for 20 minutes and let him stay.”

“How does a student from a country in which a third of the population is nomadic, living in round white felt tents called gers on the vast steppe, ace an M.I.T. course even though nothing like this is typically taught in Mongolian schools?” (via Jay Lake)

“To put that in perspective, imagine a ten-kilometer (6.2 mile) wide gorge, up to 800 meters (0.5 miles) deep, running from the Southern coast of England and into Scotland.”

“So, we have to go to the Bible, and the Bible speaks about dragons.”

“If you all don’t repent, then this is the kind of survivalist garbage you will be reduced to eating during the coming siege.”

“Much of this book you slurp in like theological tea, only to feel the burn on the back of your throat when you realize it’s theological tequila.”

“When faith is completely replaced by creed, worship by discipline, love by habit; when faith becomes an heirloom rather than a living fountain; when religion speaks only in the name of authority rather than with the voice of compassion — its message becomes meaningless.”

“Those who love sausage and the scriptures shouldn’t watch either of them being made.”

“It’s a classic setup: making you feel acute pain about a problem you sort of knew you had, then presenting a rosy solution that involves buying [stuff].”

“Enough with calling people ‘losers.’ It’s a signpost on the road to becoming lost.”

“Unlike regular URL shorteners, which generally do not interfere with the ability of Google and others to count links, Do Not Link takes several steps to make sure the link will not be counted.”

“Now let’s return to our regularly scheduled discussion of how gun control never works.”

“I lived to see the day when the pope and the president of Iran are more doctrinally flexible than the GOP.”

“Thank you for playing, Senator.” “Playing what?

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  • Vermic

    Ezekiel bread is pretty good! It’s got fiber and a low glycemic index. It’s pretty dense stuff so I find it a little much for sandwiches, but for morning toast it’s quite nice.

    Sure, the rationale for the bread is kinda wacky, but it’s a perfectly good product. I think of it as the bread version of Dr. Bronner’s soap.

  • Baby_Raptor

    After reading that, I’m picturing cinnamon-raisin Lembass bread.

  • Kirala

    I adore the history of Christian canon described in fandom terms. We’ve had fanon mixed in our canon since the beginning – and complicating matters further, I’ve almost never seen anyone who would argue against elevating ANY fanon to canon. (How many Christians are truly interested only in the teachings of Christ?) So how do we decide which fanon to canonize???

    It does make Word of God a rather more literal trope than it usually is on TV Tropes. And I suppose we can thank Disqus that I can’t be bothered to format either “Word of God” or “TV Tropes” into a time-sucking link. Who knew Disqus could be good for something?

  • I gotta admit I thought that bit about brushing the possum for 20 minutes and letting him stay referred to keeping him for a barbeque. I’m told possum is delicious though I wouldn’t know personally.

  • Baby_Raptor

    And now I’m fighting the urge to go read the Bible’s TV Tropes page.

  • Kirala

    I stopped fighting and then found nothing particularly remarkable or interesting. I think a story has to be more unified before I start thinking, “Oh! I can’t believe I didn’t notice That Thing in there before! Let’s see what else has That Thing!” or “Yes, that is a perfect encapsulation of That Thing, it should be the definition.”

    I mean, “Adam and Eve Plot: The Trope Namer. God’s instructions to the first people are: “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth”.” Yawn.

  • Hth

    Also, I find that I can digest it pretty well, in spite of my gluten intolerance. So I buy it when I feel like I just really need something to go under some jam, stat. It’s really not bad! If that’s the scariest food God’s willing to threaten us with, then he really is a bit of a softie, as I always suspected.

  • cyllan

    My experience with possum is that it works great in spaghetti sauce.

  • Michael Pullmann

    Survivalist OTCs confuse me. Don’t they expect to get raptured before all the bad stuff happens?

  • Not to mention, there wouldn’t really be any such thing as survival anyway right? Seven years until the end of everything.. it took longer than that for my grandfather’s cancer to kill him. Why not just let the first meteor or whatever take you instead hanging around for even worse things?

  • Kirala

    You’re confused by your familiarity with LaJenkins premillenialism,
    methinks. Some varieties of premillenialism believe the Rapture will
    happen AFTER the Tribulation, so the Church will have to experience it
    also – and I can see where it would be considered unwise to assume that
    any given disaster is actually the Tribulation and therefore worth
    committing suicide over (even passively). After all, suicide is a one-way ticket to hell.

  • At least a few of them seem to be operating under the delightful assumption of being able to kill their neighbors and take their stuff before the world is miraculously fixed.

  • There’s a post on tumblr making the rounds that says “What if the Bible was just a really popular book who’s fandom got out of control?” The response, of course, is, “WHAT IF???”

  • Hilary

    double post, edited out

  • Mark Z.

    Ezekiel’s recipe involved cooking it over a flaming pile of your own shit, which I’m pretty sure the Ezekiel Bread company doesn’t do.

  • Jamoche

    There used to be a late-night TV ad for some kind of “healing oil” that was mixed in “Biblical proportions”. Presumably they got it from some Bible verse like the Ezekiel, but my friends and I always cracked up because that phrase is more commonly applied to very large things – did they have giant vats?

  • The_L1985


  • MikeJ

    Ezekiel 4:9 cereal is on the shelf at my boring suburban QFC. I don’t see how the bread is any weirder. It is funny that the verse means it as a punishment and people take the verse out of context.


  • Wouldn’t that be a sort of mid-millennial dispensationalism?

    Post-millennials obviously believe all this stuff happens after TurboJesus gets back, or for that matter don’t even include a Rapture in their doctrine.

  • Yeah. Books like One Second After are probably how they imagine shit going down.

  • Jamoche

    Just found this wonderfully snarky article about the Atlas Shrugged movies:


    …despite the free market repeatedly determining it would rather not have any Atlas Shrugged movies, producers Harmon Kaslow and John Aglialoro boldly refused to relinquish their rational self-interests to a world that would dare take their ideas from them, chiefly by not paying to see them. And because of their indefatigable commitment to film Atlas Shrugged: Who Is John Galt? by the fall—and thus propagate its titular character’s manifesto to “never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine”—Kaslow and Aglialoro have turned to asking other men to give them $250,000.

  • Kirala

    The millennium is the thousand-year reign of Christ. As long as Christ returns prior to the millennium, it’s premillennialism. Doesn’t matter whether it’s rapture-tribulation-return or tribulation-rapture-return or tribulation-return-rapture.

  • arghous

    I had a sad when George W. Bush spoke out against human/animal hybrids, because the Bible talks about satyrs, which, of course, must therefore exist. What did Bush have against the poor satyrs? Won’t someone think of the satyrs?

    Likewise cockatrices. Very useful creatures, if, as in nethack, you put on gloves and wield their corpses as weapons.

  • Omnicrom

    This is literally the dictionary definition of Irony right here.

  • Jamoche


    Hey, it makes more sense than owlbears!

  • MissMikey

    I love Ezekiel Bread, although I have never cooked it over a flaming pile of my own shit. Reading that post makes me want to go out and get some of it, but I think it will be a tough sell to my boyfriend and I don’t love it enough to eat an entire loaf by myself before it goes bad.

    Since I’m just a heathen, I never realized that it was a threatened punishment. I guess God does move in mysterious ways.

  • *is enlightened* :)

  • Victor

    (((‘We’re here to sow some words’)))

    Let the bells ring, the ban her, “I” mean the banners fly, feast your eyes on him, it’s too good to be true butt Victor’s here, Victor’s here NOW!

    Come on Fred! Don’t get taken in by this little four per sent age cell retardo cause Victor is so desperate that he’s putting all his cards on these so called, father, mother, son and holy spirit and truth be known, these imaginary cells are just as crazy as Victor is and if they think that they can steal our 96% godly body, “I” mean kingdom, no, no, I mean we are the real gods. Just check with Ezekiel’s cells who have got Victor’s number…Come on Fred, The World’s End…..?

    Come on NOW!? The next thing is that your army of believe hers, “I” mean believers will be believing in stuff like this of the past


    Listen Fred all this that Victor’s invisible angels want YA to believe are nothing but FOG music disguised as Victor’s angels who want U>S (usual sinners) “I” mean us god fired and this “Jesus” never really existed.
    Again “I” say, all Victor wants is to become a god like we spiritual land lords are NOW and we can’t have that. Just keep believing that there’s no End until the alien gods come with their space ship to take over cause there really is no silent war taking place now where this so called “Devil” who lived backward and still does will take ov her, “I” mean over and…..

    END YA sinner vic? BE NICE NOW and remember that these pup pets, “I” mean human being cells still have “Free Will” and they have a choice not to be “Left Behind” if YA get my drift NOW?

    Go Figure folks! :)


    God Bless Peace

  • Matri

    The scary part is that they have over 500 backers and are halfway to their goal.

  • Ygorbla

    I believe it’s locked, so nothing interesting can happen there. TVtropes has a fairly draconian management whose response to any form of argument or controversy is to lock the entire article; if a topic or work is controversial, it will be locked permanently.

    For example, their entire article on “The Fundamentalist” as a character type was locked permanently because of an argument over the inclusion or exclusion of one word (over whether atheists can fall under the fundamentalist character-type. The site-owner changed it to yes — which I can agree with — but then locked the entire article forever to keep anyone from changing it back, which I think, in a wiki, is a clear sign that they’ve screwed up somewhere along the line.)

    It can be something of a shock to people who move there from the more open and easygoing environment at Wikipedia or more typical wikis, where locking an article permanently over something like that would be unthinkable.