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December 16, 2025
Matthew 24 Was Never About the Rapture — It Was a Warning
Evangelicals love Matthew 24 the way doomsday preppers love canned beans — not because it’s...
December 09, 2025
Christmas Is Socialist and Unchristian (And You Know It)
Every December, America re-enacts the same ritual: we crank up the electric bill, panic-buy scented...
December 02, 2025
The Real Reason We Don’t Have a 666 Area Code
Before we even get into the satire, let's start with an actual historical fact that...
November 2025
November 25, 2025
Why I’d Rather Sit with a Skeptic than a Saint
Transcendentalism and I would probably make decent drinking buddies. Not best friends. Not partners in...
November 20, 2025
The Church Isn’t the Bride — She’s the Whore
If Christianity were a marriage, it’d be the kind that ends in a true-crime podcast....
November 18, 2025
Moravec’s Paradox, but Make It Biblical
Moravec’s Paradox says the stuff we think should be hard—math, logic, abstraction—is actually pretty easy...
November 11, 2025
When Empires Burn Themselves Down
Empires rarely die in battle. They die in shame. Not with a roar, but with...
November 04, 2025
Hosea vs. Hosanna
American Christianity has a soundtrack problem. We’ve got the praise playlist on repeat—loud, triumphant, and...
October 2025
October 28, 2025
The Gospel of Failing Up
The Cult of the Overrated America has a strange talent for turning mediocrity into mythology....
October 21, 2025
We Are All Allentown Now
“Every child had a pretty good shot / To get at least as far as...
October 14, 2025
From Travelogue to Apocalypse
The Old Testament is a chaotic road trip—full of divine temper tantrums, bad decisions, and...
October 07, 2025
Why We Can’t Quit the Lie
Sunday morning smells like coffee and false certainty. The lobby hums with “How are yous?”...
October 02, 2025
Charismatics, Psychics, and Charlatans—Oh My!
When your prophetic word sounds suspiciously like a cold reading with extra Jesus. It’s Sunday...
September 2025
September 30, 2025
Survival Tips for Life in the Authoritarian Slow-Cooker
“Hypodermics on the shore, China’s under martial law / Rock and roller, cola wars—I can’t...
September 25, 2025
Ken Ham’s Polemic Problem
Ken Ham built a boat. Well, technically, he built a theme park shaped like a...
September 23, 2025
The Power of Pious PR
When I graduated high school, one of my closest friends left to be a Mormon...
September 16, 2025
How Worship Music Became Our Theological Safe Word
Sunday mornings in our home have a peculiar tradition: we turn on Christian radio—not to...
September 12, 2025
The Twisted Math of American Violence
Every time there’s a mass shooting in America, we’re handed the same buffet of scapegoats:...
September 09, 2025
America’s Feeder Kink
Welcome to the Fetish Economy You’ve seen the memes. You’ve shouted the slogans. Eat the...
September 02, 2025
Baptism as Brand Rehab
It’s been over a month since Hulk Hogan died, and if your algorithm is anything...
August 2025
August 27, 2025
The Parable of the Snark
We’ve reached a point in American Christianity where the name of Jesus gets invoked more...
August 20, 2025
We Are the Horsemen
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse aren’t waiting in the wings. They’re already here, riding...
August 13, 2025
There Will Be Blood When Capitalism Claims the Cross
Oil, Faith, and the American Dream It always ends in the bowling alley. Two men....
August 06, 2025
The Seven Mountains Mandate is Not a Hill You Want to Die On
American Christianity never met a conspiracy theory it couldn’t baptize. Enter the Seven Mountains Mandate—a...
July 2025
July 30, 2025
Trump Didn’t Ruin the Church—He Revealed It
I’ll admit it. It took me a while. But I’ve finally come around. Donald J....
July 23, 2025
The Gospel According to Marvel Studios
Somewhere along the way, Christianity stopped being a faith and became a franchise. You know...
July 17, 2025
The Epsteins of the Southern Baptist Church
The MAGA mob won’t shut up about the “Epstein files.” They want the names—demanding to...
July 15, 2025
Tragedy at Camp Mystic and the Cost of Negligent Faith
“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help…” —Psalm...
July 09, 2025
When “Thus Saith the Lord” Becomes a Brand Slogan
It's prophecy season again — and wouldn’t you know it? God’s apparently very concerned with...
July 02, 2025
Why Are Evangelicals So Horny for War?
They say you should never mix religion and politics. But what if your religion is...
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