A favorite question many spiritual directors ask after hearing their clients describe a difficult life situation is: “Where is God in this for you?” I’ve never liked using that question because I figure that is likely why the person came for spiritual direction. To explore God’s presence in that chaotic mess, which can be difficult to do alone.
New Way of Seeing
What spiritual directors can help with is inviting our directees to look at the situation differently. Spiritual director Anne Sussman, in her review of Jewish Spiritual Direction: an Innovative Guide from Traditional and Contemporary Sources– edited by Rabbi Howard Avruhm Addison and Barbara Eve Breitman, was struck by Rabbi Addison’s writings of “reciprocal grace.” Rather than limiting the notion of grace to the Christian understanding of it coming to the human as a free gift from God, Rabbi Addison wants us to consider it as a flow from God to us and then back to God in a way that actually transforms God! Sussman prefers to ask “where are you in this for God?” rather than “where is God in this for you?” Turning this question on its head can lead to new understandings.
Where are you in this for God?
This question presupposes that we are co-creators with God. Our real life situations–messy though they may be–are where we find ultimate meaning and purpose. We might be:
- Waiting for God to show up
- Unwilling to interact with God at the moment
- In a state of helplessness and need courage
- Doing our best
- Asking for wisdom
- Seeking comfort
So in addition to looking for God in the world, we can see the world as God’s creation (God is already here) and notice how we are showing up. We can look for that reciprocal grace.
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