Much is written about spiritual direction. Just search the term online and you will find a vast array of books about the practice of spiritual guidance. However, sometimes authors use the term to refer to the “direction of a person’s spiritual journey” rather than the actual practice of going to a spiritual director for guidance. So, I’m going to share with you the top five books that I recommend on the practice of spiritual direction. This is far from an... Read more
It was my annual 3-day summer retreat at a reduced rate resort in Scottsdale and I was ready to lounge by the pool. As I was about to enter, I noticed a swarm of about 40 elementary to middle school-aged kids with their camp counselors also entering the pool area. It was a charity event for the inner-city kids and they were ready to whoop it up. This was not my idea of a contemplative day at the pool. I... Read more
Because the practice of spiritual direction is still rather new to a lot of people, there are some fears borne out of misconceptions about it. Here are the top five fears I have noticed people have about spiritual direction. 1. The spiritual director will judge me. Fear of being judged harshly keeps some people away from spiritual guidance. Even when they learn that our training is explicit that we are not to here to judge, correct or change people. That last... Read more
The effectiveness of any spiritual director resides primarily in his or her ability to be a gracious container for whatever story the directee wants to bring to that session. I find Jesus’ story of the parable of the sower helpful in explaining this (Matthew 13:3-9). Think of the directee as the sower (the farmer) and the director as the soil in which the farmer tosses the seed. Think of the seed as the story. In the parable, Jesus says our... Read more
One of the most common threads in spiritual direction conversations is “what do I do with my outrage over all the news I hear about violence and heartbreak?” I’ve asked my spiritual director that question a few times myself. Overall, our world is proportionately less violent than it was thousands of years ago. But that’s irrelevant when news travels instantly via smartphones and social media now. We are aware of horrific violence everywhere it happens. And for sensitive people who are... Read more
The high priestess of progressive Christian inspiration, Anne Lamott is busy this week backtracking and apologizing for a crude twitter remark in which she said (and I will paraphrase) she would not call Caitlyn Jenner “she” as long as Jenner still had a penis. Since quite a few transgender Christians seek spiritual direction—mostly because it is one place in the church where they are accepted as they are—the one thing I know for sure about trans people is that calling... Read more
Spiritual direction is about claiming your own power and God’s power within you. The code of ethics that spiritual directors abide by expressly prohibits us from becoming gurus. To be the person who gives advice, admonishes or fixes your problem is to take your personal power away. Never, ever give your personal power away to another human being! Kumare is a fascinating documentary illustrating this dynamic. Billed “a true film about a false prophet,” Kumare is a social experiment by... Read more
Although I often work in spiritual direction with people from no religious background, I am no “none.” While I’m open to spiritual practices from a variety of religious traditions and am proud to have close friends who are atheists, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim and everything in between, I remain a committed progressive contemplative Christian. I don’t seek to convert anyone because I do not wish to be converted–that “do unto others” rule that Jesus emphasized is paramount for me. I’m comfortable... Read more
Warm weather invites us to slow down but how many of us really accept that invitation? Our jobs certainly don’t slow down just because the summer is here. We just slog through at the same high-speed pace even as our bodies cry out for a break. It is hard spiritual work to listen to our bodies and the rhythm of the seasons while also maintaining jobs, clean homes, connections with friends and staying “in the loop.” Something has to give.... Read more
Spiritual directors have five conversational tools we use to help the person we are talking with share more deeply. These aren’t secrets and you don’t have to be a spiritual director to use them. They are especially helpful if the person you are talking with feels safe with you and wants to talk about important aspects of their life. They are “hospitality-in-action.” Silence. Listen in order to understand what the person is saying and not to develop your own witty... Read more
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