Mary of Egypt is one of the best-known desert mothers. She left her Alexandria home and family at the age of 12 for reasons unknown. As the story goes, she was a sex worker for 17 years, sometimes selling her body for money and other times seducing men just for the fun of it. Pilgrimage to Jerusalem One day Mary was intrigued by a ship heading out of Alexandria taking people on a pilgrimage to the Church of the Holy... Read more
You’ll often hear spiritual directors talk about how much they love their directees. And it’s true that when we hold stories of vulnerability and pain or strength and joy, we feel a sense of love. What kind of love are we talking about? Love, not Romance First, let me be clear that under no circumstance should a spiritual director begin a romantic relationship with a client (current or former). That would be highly unethical. And, the Code of Ethics for... Read more
The legend of Theodora of Alexandria is a 5th century tale of sex, gender fluidity and deception. Theodora was a beautiful married woman, who in a moment of sexual passion cheated on her husband with another man. Her guilt over this indiscretion led her to a life of penance in the desert. So, Theodora cut her hair and posed as a man named Theodore to join an ascetic community of desert monks (since the desert fathers considered women too much... Read more
The Desert Fathers and Mothers of the 4th century were the original spiritual directors, sought out by pilgrims coming to them to explore their spiritual life. In this series, I’m introducing a few of these amazing people. Some you have heard of. And, some I’m guessing you have not. Meet Paula One of the earliest of the desert mothers, Paula of Rome was born into great wealth and married a Senator. She lived a cushy life, donned in expensive silk... Read more
2023 is going to be a great year for spiritual guidance. More and more people are learning what spiritual direction/companioning/guidance is all about, which means more work for all of us–a very good thing! But many spiritual directors struggle to build a practice. Directors need to get the word out about the work we do—deep listening and conversation about a person’s spiritual life and needs. We may not want to go full-tilt with an advertising blast. There are ways to... Read more
Don’t know about you, but I, like millions of others right now, have anxiety issues. “Generalized Anxiety Disorder” is the technical term my therapist writes down in their little notebook. I’m not ashamed to admit this. In some ways, when you look around at all that is going on in the world, like… Mass shootings Raging war in Ukraine Wildfires, drought, floods, the shrinking ice caps in the Arctic Lack of affordable housing Inflation Political division and threats of civil... Read more
Back in May, in Santa Fe, New Mexico, the SDI Engage Conference attendees and hosts alike celebrated, explored, and expanded the world of spiritual direction. It was a privilege to be able to go in person and present my workshop on “Passing the Torch: The Apprentice Model of Spiritual Direction Training.” In this workshop, I encouraged participants (as I encourage you, perhaps) to consider offering apprenticeships to people who might benefit by learning from your area of expertise. For example,... Read more
For today’s post, I’m delighted to feature guest Laura Ann Lies for this guide on Spiritual Direction! Laura is a Chicago-area spiritual director, an expert in the business side of things, and offers her wisdom here. She has provided links throughout the article for in-depth exploration, along every step. What is a Private Spiritual Direction practice and Why does it matter? With more people graduating with degrees and certificates in Spiritual Direction than ever before (learn more about the expanding... Read more
To get better at something we consider challenging, we have to practice. You know what’s hard for me in spiritual direction? Exploring with a client ways to deepen in relationship with God when they are truly and unavoidably busy. Spiritual directors are not “fixers,” yet I’m always tempted to suggest ways to squeeze more time out of a packed person’s day. Never, ever have my suggestions on this — when I gave them — worked. I’m especially cautious about doing this... Read more
Throughout history and among many spiritual traditions the divine has been associated with light. In our continuing exploration of the attributes of God found listed in the apocryphal book of Wisdom (7:15-22), let’s spend a little time with this beautiful description: Wisdom is a reflection of eternal light, a spotless mirror of the working of God, and an image of God’s goodness. Wisdom, in Hebrew literature, is a female energy described as God’s delight and God’s companion. She reflects God... Read more
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