(image of wineglass via Pixabay)
Me: I think abortion is a terrible evil, so I think we should work as hard as we can to create a society where mothers and children are welcomed so that they don’t feel like they need to make that choice.
Giant Internet Hand of Spanking: How dare you! You think abortion should be legal?
Me: No, I never said that, but I think the best way to help is to work to create a society where mothers and children are welcomed so that they don’t feel like they need to make that choice.
GIHS: I can’t believe you honestly want to rip a baby apart for “social justice!”
Me: I don’t. I don’t want any babies ripped apart, ever. I just think the best way to keep them from being ripped apart is to empower mothers to be able to–
GIHS: Here, let me describe to you in graphic detail the medical process of a D&E. I’m going to say “head crushed with forceps” four or five times in case you’re easily triggered by descriptions of violence. Now, have I changed your mind? Are you ready to be against abortion?
Me: I’m already against abortion. That’s why I was putting forth some ideas as to how we can–
GIHS: Planned Parenthood was founded by a eugenicist! Do you want to know what Margaret Sanger thought about black people?
Me: I don’t like Margaret Sanger in the least, and I think we should–
GIHS: Here, let me show you some graphic and triggering IMAGES of SLAUGHTERED unborn babies!!!! I plagiarized them from Operation Rescue!!!
Me: It’s disrespectful to post photos of deceased human beings in order to score ideological victories online. But like I said, I actually agree with you on this topic. That’s why–
GIHS: We need to be unwavering! We need to do anything we can possibly do to save the lives of these precious, innocent unborn children!
Me: I think it would save a lot of unborn children’s lives if we improved the social safety net and tried to do what we could to remove the stigma surrounding unwed mothers.
GIHS: But that would create dependence.
Me: *fills the wine tumbler all the way to the top and drinks it in one gulp*
GIHS: How dare you make jokes about alcohol consumption?
…and it just goes on from there.