Yet Another Important Election Update From Steel Magnificat

(image via pixabay)

I would like to remind my readers that we’re down to the last eight days.

Eight. Ocho. Huit. Double four. Like a circle that’s turned round upon itself.

We’re almost there. We’re in the single digits. Just a hair more than a week.

If you sat down to watch all six Peter Jackson Commercializes Tolkein films, you’d only have to watch them 9 1/5 times before the election was over. Or just nine times if you didn’t want to watch it while voting.

Or, if you wanted to invite me over, we could watch the complete ouvre of Stanley Kubrick. We’d only get to watch them seven times, allowing a few minutes to pause a film and go vote. Of course, if you invited me over to watch the complete ouvre of Stanley Kubrick, we wouldn’t get all the way through even once due to the arguing over hidden narratives. I’ll bring my own cheap white wine.

You could listen to “Bohemian Rhapsody” 1920 times, presuming you left the earbud in while you went to vote.

You could prance around your room pretending to dance ballet to the Nutcracker Suite about 96 times, presuming you danced your way in and out of the voting booth and did demi plies while you were in there.

And then there’s that Raymond Arroyo interview with Donald Trump. Michael suggested I watch that; I thought maybe I could give it one of my highfalutin’ hoity toity film reviews as if it were an art piece. But I’m just not up to the task, not at this stage of the election. I can’t stand to watch yet another interview with a man constructed entirely of Philistine foreskins. I couldn’t in the first place, about eighteen months ago when this nightmare started. If I want viscerally grotesque and disturbing black comedy, I’ll go back to that Stanley Kubrick binge party, steal their DVD of A Clockwork Orange and watch it 83 and a half times, presuming I kept my eyes glued to the laptop screen when I went to vote.  Don’t try to do that, for the record; it’s probably illegal to bring your laptop to the polls with you. Bring a teddy bear or a fifth of vodka. You’ll need it. Then come over and watch A Clockwork Orange with me, because it’s my very favorite film.

We can do this, folks. We’re almost there.