The Party of Family Values in a Crowded Theater

The Party of Family Values in a Crowded Theater September 15, 2023

a theater stage with a curtain
image via Pixabay


I’m not going to embed any videos, never fear.

Heck, I’m not going to even link to any videos.

I’m going to do my best to not even DESCRIBE what Congresswoman Lauren Boebert and her date were doing to each other in that theater over the weekend.

If you don’t know, ask someone with social media to tell you. It turns out she wasn’t thrown out of Beetlejuice for vaping, unless vaping is a new euphemism the kids are using these days. They both ought to be in jail.

I wouldn’t say I’m surprised, because nothing about the modern-day crop of Republicans surprises me anymore. I bar nothing. They are not serious people. They are internet trolls with wealthy corporate sponsors. I’m just irritated that every time I get on social media, I see that video again and again and again.

When my not-yet-twelve-year-old daughter came into the room to tell me about something funny that happened at school, I had to make sure she didn’t accidentally see it.

How many times is the Party of Life, God and Family Values going to provide me with R-rated content to hide from my daughter like this?

Exactly how often is the Party of “How will we explain the gays to our children?” going to make me explain things to my child?

When Adrienne, then called Rosie, was a little mite who liked to play with Iron Man and Captain America dolls in the Barbie Dreamhouse, I had to explain to her about a certain remark made by the presidential candidate representing the pro-life movement. I had to tell her that the behavior Mr. Trump had just boasted about was foul and obscene and that if any grownup tried to touch her that way, she was to use all the skills she learned in martial arts classes to defend herself. I absolutely wouldn’t be mad at her for hitting a grownup in that case. I also said that if what he was accused of proved true, he should be in prison.

Adrienne looked up at me with wide eyes and said “but then he would touch the girl police.”  And I stammered.

Now we’ve got Congresswoman Doofus, in a dress three sizes too small, doing… THAT in a theater, while her boyfriend does THAT to her in return. She has apologized, for vaping and causing a disturbance, but not for her actual obscene behavior. Apparently that doesn’t deserve an apology. Boebert explains that she’s going through a divorce right now and “I simply fell short of my values.”

And these are the same people who say that children like Adrienne are somehow being corrupted by the mere existence of LGBTQ people minding their own business.

That because her Aunt Holly and Aunt Reese live together in Columbus and she visits them sometimes, she’s being groomed. That because our public library had a small display of children’s books on LGBTQ people, she’s being “sexualized.”

Boebert herself has expressed all kinds of vitriol against the mere existence of LGBTQ people and how we’re corrupting the youth.

I wish I had a different world to raise my child in.

Mostly I just wish these people would go away.

I’m tired of looking at them, I’m tired of thinking about them. It was much easier to be a Christian when I didn’t know that they existed.



Mary Pezzulo is the author of Meditations on the Way of the Cross, The Sorrows and Joys of Mary, and Stumbling into Grace: How We Meet God in Tiny Works of Mercy.

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