Moms need to take breaks too. All too often we either don’t or if we do we feel guilt. I was recently watching the new episodes of the animated children’s show Bluey with my boys, and when the mum, Chili, realized she doesn’t know how to relax, it hit me that neither do I. Do you know how to relax or rest? If you do, do you let yourself? The episode begged the question – what does God have to say about it? The short answer is He says that everyone needs a break, even moms. Chili needed to learn that from her kiddos. I think if the little blue cartoon dogs can do it, maybe us humans should give it a go.
Even Cartoon Parents Need A Break
I know what you’re probably thinking, and yes, Bluey often provides me with parenting advice, and I feel no shame in that. If you haven’t seen the show, I encourage you to check it out. It is adorable and is one of the few modern mainstream television shows that still demonstrates family values significantly. The show accomplishes this feat without ever being faith-specific, meaning for Christian principles and scripture, you will need to seek out other programs.
I am referring to the episode from Season 3, Episode 40, titled “Relax.” The synopsis on IMDb reads that “Bluey and Bingo would rather explore their holiday hotel room than relax on the beach.” The episode opens with the family arriving at their hotel. As they unload the children and their luggage, Chili is in a hurry to get to the beach so that she can start relaxing. The dad, Bandit, is already on vacation, and the girls are delightful and excited to be on Holiday. Chili thinks she will relax at the beach, so she hurries to get everyone there. But Bluey and Bingo run around the suite instead. First, they encounter bunk beds in their room, and then the toilet in the bathroom has a ribbon over the seat. Then, they discover the jacuzzi tub. Bandit suggests to Chili that she go ahead and head to the beach.
Chili is surprised at first. Then, she reluctantly agrees to take some time to herself. This is relatable. It feels a little off-putting whenever I can be alone for a moment, and then I feel guilty. Chili heads to the beach and tries to relax with her book, which she was craving to do upon arrival at the hotel. Unfortunately, she cannot seem to concentrate. Inevitably, she packs up and heads back to her room. Bandit greets her when she returns and asks what’s wrong and why she returned so soon. This is when she says the next relatable thing, “I don’t know how to relax.”
Being the solid partner that Bandit is, he hugs her and turns her to face the girls who are having a big time just playing in the room. He tells her to look at how the “masters” are doing it. This is an ah-ha moment in and of itself. Children are naturally able to enjoy the moment they are in. Chili sees that and lets herself feel the moment and take a break too.
Mom Guilt Over Needing A Break Is a Societal Problem
It is safe to say that we all know the term Mom Guilt. That is not to assume that dads don’t experience it as well, but I think that the experience differs between the roles. I follow a lady on TikTok who wrote a song about those differences. She comments that they can both take the kids to the park, but people will tell her husband that he is a good dad because he is there. Meanwhile, mom has wiped the tushies, fed the cat, been up since 4 am because someone puked, soothed the upset child, did the laundry, etc. I feel like this is representative of the societal expectation placed on mothers, which implies that we are never supposed to stop or take a break.
Can we normalize saying that being a mom is hard work and that we need a break, please? Of course, we love our babies. And, of course, we want to be there and do everything, but that doesn’t mean we should never stop moving, take a break, rest, or relax. I understand Chili’s logic. The beach is a relaxing place for me, too. But I also know that, more than likely, I’d feel just the way Chili did and head back to the room. Somehow, taking the time to rest never feels right.
This is where we can look at Bandit, Bluey, and Bingo, take a deep breath, and practice letting ourselves slow down and enjoy our moment. The truth is that we are not supposed to run on all cylinders 24/7 – 365, moms need guilt free breaks to. We are made in God’s image. He took a day of rest after He created the universe. Because of this, He expects us, his children, to do the same at least occasionally, even moms. Let’s say that again: moms need to take breaks too.
What Does God Say About Taking A Break
Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Psalms 127:2 speaks to the heart of parents. We get up early and stay up late. “In vain you get up early and stay up late, working hard to have enough food—yes, He gives sleep to the one He loves.”
Philippians 4:6-7 hits me in the chest with the conviction it holds to me every single time I read it, yet God forgive me please that I never manage to cling to it the way I should. “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” It is noteworthy that taking a break is not just a physical act. One can sit still with their feet up and still stare at the wall with all the energy in their body fueling their mind with anxieties and to-do lists. Moms need to take breaks too.
Genesis 2:2-3 tells us that even God Himself took time to rest, to relax after He finished His good work. “By the seventh day God completed His work that He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work that He had done. God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, for on it He rested from His work of creation.
While researching for this piece, I realized that if God rested, it would be laughable for me to think I should have the endurance to remain in constant motion. People need breaks, even moms., We all need to allow ourselves to rest both physically and mentally.
Conclusion:
I love it when Bandit wraps Chili up in a hug and tells her to watch the girls. Kids naturally know how to relax. They rest when they need to. I believe that that wiring in their innocence is the human default setting. But, as adults, we change that setting to what we think works best to keep life moving.
Americans, by far, are the worst when it comes to this logic. Other countries and cultures value downtime. Mom shame is a real thing. Because of that, we worry a lot about not “getting it right.” That leads us to think we should push ourselves. We tell women they are bad moms if they work outside the house, and then when they stay home, we tell them they chose this life with the heavy implication that they don’t work much less need to take time to rest.
God doesn’t mean for His children to run until we drop. Many times throughout the text of the bible, God says the opposite. He says rest, come to Him, and let Him carry our burdens. It’s hard, I know. You are a great parent. If you feel like you need permission to rest, you have it. And you don’t need to feel guilty about it. God wants you to work hard; then, He wants you to let yourself relax. It is never too late to decide to take care of yourself and your mental health. There is a stigma around moms needing a break. In order to challenge that stigma and institute change we have to first admit that its there. The next step is to take the time for self-care. Parents, you need to rest. Moms need to take breaks too you’ve earned it.
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