Praying the Compline with Children

I can be pretty dense sometimes. Exhibit A: I just realized that the child’s prayer “Now I lay me down to sleep” is a Compline, or night prayer, for children. As my Lenten discipline I’ve been praying the Compline, hoping to make friends with death. I’d begun to realize that facing up to my mortality might deepen my faith, and so it has. As I’ve forced myself to end my day with an examination of conscience and entrust my life into God’s care, I’ve sensed an opening up to life. I have a long way to go, but I’m so grateful I used this Lent to journey with God in the dark of night.

I’ve also been talking with curriculum designers during Lent about how they deal with the darkness of Good Friday in their curriculum. It’s been eye-opening for me and I hope you have enjoyed the series, too. Rev. Romal Tune made an excellent point about children and violence in my video chat with him. He said that some of us avoid talking about the violence of the crucifixion in church because we want to protect our children. But Romal pointed out that our children are not as sheltered as we would like to believe. Violence is all around them – in adult conversations, overhearing news reports, in movies, on TV and in video games. Even at school and on the playground. If we want to influence how our children interpret and understand the violence in our world, what better way to do so than by honestly exploring the violence in biblical stories together.

I agree with Romal wholeheartedly and it got me thinking about talking about mortality with children. When my children were young, I intentionally avoided praying “Now I lay be down to sleep” with them because of these two lines: “If I should die before I wake/ I pray to God my soul to take.” I did not want my kids worrying needlessly about dying in the night! Why put the idea in their heads? But I realized that avoiding mortality with children is as foolish as avoiding violence – they are not as sheltered as we think. Death is all around them – pets die and so do movie characters. Grandparents die and people we love get sick or have accidents and death can be very present. If we don’t make space to talk about it, then we send the message that we don’t want to talk about it. Maybe we are afraid of our own deaths – I know I was – and so we naturally avoid talking about the things that frighten us. But that only tells our children that they should be afraid, too. And as I’ve discovered, fearing death gets in the way of knowing God.

So if you don’t already pray this child’s Compline prayer with your children, consider adding it to your bedtime rituals. It’s a beautiful prayer. I wish I’d prayed it with my own children. What I will try to do now is find a way to let them know that mom is not as afraid of death as she used to be. Perhaps a way will present itself during Holy Week. What better time for families to talk together about human violence, death and the abiding love of God?

A Child’s Bedtime Prayer

By Henry Johnstone

Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray to God my soul to take.
If I should live for other days,
I pray the Lord to guide my ways.

Father, unto thee I pray,
Thou hast guarded me all day;
Safe I am while in thy sight,
Safely let me sleep tonight.
Bless my friends, the whole world bless;
Help me to learn helpfulness;
Keep me ever in thy sight;
So to all I say good night.