5 Easy Rules and a quick “look”

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I had my site debugged and in the process the “moderate comments” thingie got flipped on. For the heck of it, I decided to try it out and I’ve decided I like moderating comments; I get to actually read them all, now.

For the record, I won’t be inclined to zap a commenter, unless he/she is really offensive, personally combative or there is a hijacking. In the years I’ve run the blog I have banned less than 5 people, one for going after my faith in a manner that I wasn’t having, and another for calling me the C-word (female version). And he even got reinstated, once he apologized and promised to tidy up his cesspool of a mouth. :-)

I’m no prude and in r/l I’ve been known to speak the sailor’s tongue from time to time, but I do have a couple of “rules” about comments that I’d like to review – don’t worry, like St. Benedict in his Rule, I prescribe “nothing harsh or burdensome.”

1) No referring to Presidents, ex-presidents, or others by disgusting or vulgar nicknames. It is simply infantile – and I would prefer it not be done on my site. A simple last name is sufficient.

2) No carrying on about what people look like. I have been accused (by a lefty blogger who has accuracy problems) of having called Hillary Clinton “fat,” which is a lie. I happen to think she is a perfectly attractive woman, and I have said so here – I once even defended her right to show cleavage. It’s fair, I think, to try to ascertain a mood from a photo, but to simply deride someone because he or she may not be as attractive as some others, let’s not. I try not to comment on people’s looks or weight unless I can do so positively, because there is enough of that in the world. I will (rarely) comment about grooming, though, as in “please wash your freaking hair,” or whatever, and I did once wonder if someone would tell Andrea Mitchell that a soft auburn would work better than blonde with her skintone, but overall, people’s appearances are not fodder for this site. I’d appreciate it if commenters did not refer to other people – even public figures, who are considered “fair game” for a lot of scorn – as “fat pigs” or “bubble-eyed” or whatever. It’s just about being civil and acting like adults. That sort of writing betrays one’s interior noise and adds nothing to one’s argument.

3) I have no problem with hell, damn, balls, cojones, or crap, nor “bitch” when it is used as a verb. Asshat is sometimes an absolutely necessary word in the English language, as is “screw that,” “screw this,” and “Screw me? Hey, screw you!” (I am from New York.) Beyond that, don’t tempt me. If you are inclined to the F-word, “freaking” will do quite nicely, and as stated before, both C-words (male and female) will get you banned until you grovel as you have never grovelled before.

4) No taking the name of the Lord in vain. I don’t care whether He’s your Lord or not, I’d ask you to respect my sensibilities, here. If that offends you, think of compliance with my wishes as being multi-culti tolerant, then it should sit better.

5) Expressing the wish that either I or one of my loved ones die or become seriously ill will have you made not welcome here. Also, if you are going to use a fake email address, be a little less obvious than @dieAnchoressdie.com or @ihateyou.net. If I spot such addresses, they are marked as spam and banned. If, while I am waiting for you to grow up and use your a proper address, I realize that you are a ranting bigot simply looking for an outlet, same deal. My place, my prerogative. I wouldn’t dream of going to someone else’s site and not minding my manners.

Look, I’m far from perfect, and I know that everyone can – in a fit of passion – let loose occasionally and go farther than they mean to, so this is not some sort of hard-line beat-down; a once-in-a-while fit or rant is not going to get anyone banned. But I believe in establishing boundaries; IMHO I think we don’t do enough of that in our society, which is why people feel so unsure and insecure. No one knows what the limits are, anymore, so this is a sort of “outline of limits.” The intertubes may be a wild, wild west of sorts, but in this particular saloon, while you may put your feet on the tables, I do insist that you use the spittoons.

Happily for me, I have some of the coolest readers in the ‘sphere and most of them have never broken a-one of these rules. But I see a few are coming close, so I figured I’d put up the warning, which my kids call “the look.” When they are skating near the edge of my patience or endurance, they will get “the look” from me which means, “control that lip, child, before I pull it over your head…”

Only yesterday I was remarking to Buster that he’d had a pretty easy time of it growing up, that I hadn’t had to do much more than throw him “the look” to keep him in line. He said, “well, that’s because I’m not stupid. The few times you did lost it, it was a little like watching Samuel L. Jackson recite that passage from Ezekiel in Pulp Fiction before blowing holes in people. I never wanted to be on the receiving end of that!”

‘zactly.