Caring for Orphans and Widows

I have to be honest and tell you that I do not read a lot about the polygamist sect story that’s come out of Texas, partly because I never read sensationalist news – I couldn’t tell you anything about Anna Nicole Smith or Jon Benet Ramsey besides the fact that they are tragic stories – because these stories, and the overcoverage of them tends to quickly feel like porn, to me.

The other night my husband and I were flipping channels and saw the tail-end of a news story about the hundreds of children being taken into custody and placed into foster care. Hearing nothing else, he turned to me and asked, “do you want to take one or two of them?”

That’s my husband – the house is always open, especially to kids.

I said, “if we were closer, I might, but I don’t think it would be a wonderful thing to take these kids so far away from their mothers, and besides, this is foster care; likely they’d need to remain in Texas.”

“Oh, yeah…”

I bring this up because the very gentle Viola Jaynes, who – at a tender age – was placed in the care of a German orphanage and knows whereof she speaks, is wondering about these children and the reality of being pulled from one’s mother:

One thing that I think all children have in common – those who have been taken away from their mothers and their families – is, a hole in them that is difficult to repair and fill. Such a child will search for something or someone because somewhere deep inside them they knew they belonged somewhere. Finding that “place of belonging” is a very long and painful journey. There are many rejections along the way since that child will often be very clumsy in finding that “belonging” again. These rejections only add to the greatest of all rejections – being taken away, for whatever reasons, from their mother and father. The slightest hint that there might be such a belonging again, can often turn into an obsessive expression because they desperately fear that they will lose that warm and nurturing feeling of “home” once again. Juggling these emotions and keeping them in balance can be very embarrassing…and tiring, as it is realized that their inner-self is seeking, no matter how old they are, that which was lost. One becomes their own parent and that can be a very difficult task. It takes self-honesty to understand that there are nobler pursuits than feelings of neglect and feelings of sadness for one’s own losses. Many tears are shed during this process. It is important that one is kind and gentle with themselves as they grow up and heal.

See, in trying to avoid the sensationalistic, I was missing the story of the kids. They’re not exactly orphans, but they must be suffering and confused. Viola links to a way to help via the Woodlands United Methodist Church, which is looking to find some volunteers as well (and fill some paid positions) to help all the children that have been removed. Thanks, Viola!

Ann Althouse makes the very good point that these kids are not “of the world”, so to speak, and may perhaps have a difficult time adjusting to living with families in the popular culture.

If anyone else has information on funds or programs being set up to help these kids, please let me know, and I will link to you!