¿Quieres un poco de arroz y leche a pasear al perro con el niño dormido? …

¿Quieres un poco de arroz y leche a pasear al perro con el niño dormido? … December 14, 2011

… It’s becoming imperative that I hurry up and finish Disc 1 of Rosetta Stone so I can expand my vocabulary beyond rice and apples. Here is a snippet from a very real conversation I just had.

Me: Blah blah for calling my blah blah company. How can I blah blah help you?

Señorita: Bueno? You speak-a Spanish?

Me: No. Well, si. Un poco.

Señorita: Beuno! ¿Cuál es esta casa? Pasé por la casa y vi y es una hermosa casa. Yo me crié en una casa como ésta. Veo el jardín está cercado. Perfecto! Mi perro me encantaría el patio trasero. Mi los niños les gusta correr y jugar con nuestro perro, Pepito.

Me: [thinking to myself, Shit!] Uh. Oh. Um. No speak-a Spanish. Lo siento.

Señorita: Ok. How much this house you want for?

Me: It rents for $550 a month

Señorita: 4-5-0?

Me: No. $550.

Señorita: Oh. 500?

Me: No. $550.

Señorita: Five fifteen or five fifty?

Me: 5-5-0

Señorita: 5-1-5?

Me: No. cinco cinco cero.

Señorita: Gracias. No podría haber sido menos útil. He conocido a los bebés con un undertanding mejor español. Bye bye.

Me: De nada. Ciao tutti.

Trying to talk my way out a Mexican jail after that one weekend. Ever since then I always carry my passport and foreign currency whenever The Digital Hairshirt and I get together.

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  • That’s like me and my one attempt at Quebecois French. Never again.

  • Jeanne Chabot

    Just hang with me on the Camino, and you’ll be okay, both in France and in Spain… 🙂 Now I really have to go, if only to save you… 😉

  • Miguel

    That was quite rude of her to say to her considering her Spanish sucks. Most of what she said translates literally but I do not think it means what she thinks it means. Unless she really means the garden is on the house’s butt. Granted, what do I know growing up with spanglish (or, as it’s more affectionately known around here, texican).

    • In all fairness I have no idea what she said. She could have said her garden was on the moon and guarded by zombie gnomes.