Coping with the symptoms of Downton Abbey Fever…

… First let us recognize the symptoms before suggesting treatment.

Symptoms include adopting a fake British accent, responding to all requests with “I forbid it!” and referring to others as “common”, intense eyebrow furrowing, use of a cane [more severe cases my actually adopt a limp], obsessively ringing bells and becoming frustrated or confused when no one comes calling, and abandoning housekeeping insisting nonexistent servants will get it. You should seek a physician if these symptoms persist and interfere with your ability to function. Anyone experiencing a fake British accent lasting more than four hours should seek immediate medical attention.

If you or a loved one is suffering from Downton Abbey Fever and experiencing withdrawal symptoms these symptoms may be alleviated by re-watching Season 1 – not that wretched melodramatic soap opera-y Season 2. Some sufferers have found relief with regular or hourly use of Twitter to follow:

Lady Mary’s Eyebrows @MarysEyebrows
Miss Obrien’s Hair @Missobrienshair
@MatthewsBicycle
@BransonTrousers
@thedowagers_hat
@dowagerpimpcane
William’s ghost @GhostFootman
@ThomasDeadHand