How to kill your garden – a step by step guide…

… I grew food.

And then, true to form, I utterly ruined it.

Things I have learned thus far…

1- If you leave lettuce in the ground too long it turns bitter
2- Spinach too
3- For being so small, caterpillars have more stomachs than a cow and eat non-stop
4- If the soil is dry it’s too late. There is already root damage
5- If the soil is too wet it’s too late. You’ve killed it. Yes, you can drown a plant.
6- vegetables do NOT come out of the ground looking like they do on produce shelves
7- Just because it’s lumpy, twisted, or spotted doesn’t mean it’s rotten

This last two were important lessons to learn because I kept comparing their appearance to what I was used to seeing in grocery stores. The produce in grocery stores is HUGE in comparison. And pretty.

But I will not be deterred. I’m stubborn like that. Stupid too.

Things I will do next time…

1- actually read the information on the seed packet and – this is important – follow the directions
2- give my plants enough room to grow and research how big they get
3- write down the date and number of days till germination and harvest
4- put those dates on a calendar and circle it with a big black marker
5- keep a notebook of things I’ve killed and how I killed it

Things I will be killing next month…

1- tomatoes
2- peppers
3- cucumbers
4- strawberries

Stay tuned.