The most annoying show on television…

… I don’t know what it is about this show, but I can’t stop watching. I know it’s all fake and staged theatrics but there’s a little part of me that hopes, with every new episode, that the ghosts will just go ahead and kick Zak Bagans ass. Just once. Just to shut him up.

Zak Bagans; how can I aptly convey my loathing. Let’s see… combine everything in the world that annoys me and make it physically manifest into a person wearing an Affliction shirt with over-tweezed eyebrows and hair gel… and boom, you got Zak Bagans. I mean, any man that would willing do this to his eyebrows and hair. Gads!

Have I mentioned how much the European trend of men over-grooming their eyebrows unnerves me? It’s unnatural and freakish.

If you’ve been fortunate enough to have never seen the show and gone blissfully unaware that Zak Bagans exist, than congratulations. Allow me to ruin your life. Ghost Adventures is a show hosted on the Travel Channel. Zak and his crew travel to locations reported as haunted and spend the night “locked down” inside till dawn. Once inside they break out their fancy equipment that is supposed to pick up ghostly voices and images. But mostly they walk trying to provoke ghosts…

If you find yourself saying “Yeah, punch him! C’mon, just one punch!” then you are having a normal reaction to the clip.

Look, whether you believe in ghosts or not, we can probably agree that this isn’t the best or most respectful way to treat the dead. In fact, I think this kind of stuff is very dangerous, even if Zak knows he’s full of malarkey. You just don’t play with the paranormal, opening yourself up to demonic influences. He once even admitted to getting possessed and said the experience was “kinda cool”. If he believed the crap he was selling he would not have this blase reaction to possession. He would be very scared.

Anyway, kids… demons are real. So are spooks. Don’t willingly try to anger them and don’t play with the occult. If you think you’ve seen a ghost it could be a soul in purgatory or it could be a demon… either way, say a prayer while you’re quickly getting the hell outta there.